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Watching my own heart slowly break

I’ve been having issues in my marriage, hitting that 7/10 year mark (7 married, 10 together) that so many people struggle with. I am still incredibly in love with my husband and care about him and want to be around him as often as possible. We’ve both been struggling with mental health but he’s been dealing with harder hitting stuff with his family and also his fears of becoming like them. I feel like he’s not in love with me anymore and I feel like I’ve been trying to get closer with him again, but he’s just not really capable of working on us until he works out his own things…but he’s always busy with work and he won’t actively try to help himself. I just feel like I’m slowly watching my own heart break and it feels awful. I don’t want to pull away from him because I want to help him and us and I love him so much. Not really looking for any advice per se, just needed to say it “out loud” to someone. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

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@IAmLost

I’m sorry you and your husband are not in a good season right now. Have you try marriage counseling?

I am sorry to hear that your marriage is hear that your marriage is having some difficulties. Try telling your husband how you are feeling. Communication solves quite a lot of problems, especially in marital relationships.

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He knows how I feel already, I think that’s one thing that’s making it harder on him, because he’s not sure how he feels or why he is or isn’t feeling certain ways…which in turn makes it extra hard on me cuz I feel helpless…

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I would love to see one, but most counselors/therapists are over $100 an hour, and we’re barely scraping by as it is (which is another huge stressor)

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@IAmLost

I see. Hoping you two can figure things out. Blessings.

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Emotional Awareness is free and could help your husband: When you have a few minutes of spare time, sit down somewhere quiet and ask yourself what emotions you are feeling and then patiently wait until you get an answer. If it takes longer than 10 minutes, or if you need to do something, let this run in the back of your mind as you go about your day. The goal is quiet rumination without any panicked scrabbling. You are asking your brain what emotion you feel and then you let it get back to you. It takes a long time, at first. Sometimes it can take weeks, especially if you have a lot on your mind and are new at this, but it gets considerably faster the more you practice until you only need to ask to get a list of what you are feeling. The hardest parts are remembering to ask yourself what emotions you are feeling on a regular basis, once per day if you can, and being patient and to not give up practicing.

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