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Wedding kinda stress me out

I do have fun at weddings, but I also get social wired out by it too. Maybe it remind me of my insecurities of about single, not being able to connect with women. Remind me that no girl could ever like me or just not accept me for who I am.

It funny I have things for gothic girl, I like them , but they don’t like me lol. Maybe cause I don’t have tattoos, don’t fit into scene crowd, being a virgin and just being not edgy enough. It a stupid thing to saw for my age, I’m 30.

But got me thinking that thing I’m doing like skateboarding, metal and other stuff that I have a strong passion about, but I don’t fit in with people. Guess it a good that my in a way.

However, it hard to find a place where I can find a place where I can fit in. It hard when I’m alone without a parent or someone in opposite sex just be my friend.

I’m too old to think this way.

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hi Metal

So for what its worth I only started to figure myself out in my 30s and I think the goal of being comfortable in your own skin is a worthwhile one.

The coolest people are able to be themselves without being worried how people feel about it. Its cool to not worry if people think you are cool. Its cool to treat everyone with respect. Its cool to be yourself even if its kinda weird (unless its like socially unacceptable, obviously).

I guess when it comes to other people…we only have to like some part of other people…like the things we have in common and/or the common endeavor we are working on.

George Harrison was the quiet Beatle and he was the coolest one (my opinion). Just be you man.

As for social skills, its like woodworking or anything else…something people might be naturals at it and others like us have to work hard at it. You will get better with it in time and I have found that having a positive attitude (or just acting like it) is helpful. I have also found that people pretty much universally love compliments and I generally limit it to something they have chosen (hair style, shoes, nails, etc) and not like, their eyes or their looks etc…but maybe that is only because I lack the confidence, but I don’t want to act like a creep.

If nothing else metal my goals have been to act like a person I would think is cool and would respect if I met them and then I would kinda be that person (…if that makes sense). If I act like someone I would like…its easier to like myself. As for meeting women, I think if you are positive and confidant/comfortable as well as “not too eager” I think that is pretty much 90% of what makes a person attractive.

The short version is take it easy man. The person you are is already cool.

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Hey @Metalskater1990,

If that can be of any comfort to you, I think weddings and events like these are stressful for many people. For some, it is what you describe: kind of a reminder of something we don’t have (yet), which hurts. For others, it’s all the activity and the socializing that’s overwhelming.

I don’t think you’re ever too old to think a certain way. The loneliness you describe also doesn’t care about age. It’s a human experience, a circumstancial one, but still something very real to the ones who experience it. And you know, there’s nothing in what you say that would be stupid. For sure most people are not h24 gothic or metalheads - at least in terms of appearance - when they’re in their 30s. But it’s still a part of the personality of many people who embrace it and are proud of it. There’s never anything to be ashamed of when it’s about being who you are. Really. Your interests are yours and this life is yours.

So keep embracing who you are. Keep holding on to the things that bring you joy. And, who knows, maybe some connections would happen from there? Skateboarding, metal… these are strong passions that make people gather in same events or places. There might be ways and places to socialize and make new connections thanks to these passions that you have. And what’s better than meeting people who share the same interests as ours, after all? That’s when the most interesting conversations happen!

You are enough and beautiful as you are, really. I hope this wedding won’t (or wasn’t, since you’ve posted a couple of days ago) be too stressful to you. Make sure to take breaks a little bit away if you feel the need to, that day. It’s totally fine, and a good way to recharge emotionally.

You got this. :hrtlegolove:

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Hiya @Metalskater1990

Thank you for your post, I am glad you have fun at weddings, I think sometimes these events where lots of people get together can be a bit overwhelming if you feel a bit awkward and like you say remind you of any little insecurity you have and I can assure you, there are going to be many others that will have been there that also will have been thinking about their own so you were not alone by any means.

I wonder if those insecurities and possibly one of the reasons you are having trouble connecting with other people. When you meet a person who is full of self confidence it seems to radiate from them just like when you meet a genuinely happy person, it shines from within. I guess the same happens with someone who has no self-confidence, I think it shows and could be awkward for the person you are approaching. So maybe if you were to work on your confidence and self-doubt and not put yourself down all the time, maybe all the rest would fall into place for you.

You are never too old to meet someone, to have fun or to be happy so if you want to start a new hobby, start one, get good at it, build your confidence, talk to people and most importantly you need to relax, you have years of life ahead of you to do whatever you wish, you don’t have to do it all by next week.

Relax, take a few deep breaths and start enjoying your life.

Much Love

Lisa :heart:

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