Welcome to My Brain - July 25

Apparently I was still spaced out last night and wound up missing my bedtime reflection too! Back on track today :muscle:
Trigger warning: needles

Situation/Trigger
Morning reflection
Emotions/Feelings/Body Sensations & Intensity
Worried 80
Fragile 75
Lightheaded, can feel my pulse all over my body, bit of a lump in my throat, tense abdomen
Immediate Thoughts
All that’s on my mind today is getting my 2nd dose of the vaccine. Im terrified of medical needles, and im only just back on my feet after like 6 different health issues in a row so im dreading being sick again. Ill be glad when its over, but the journey scares me, especially with how long it always takes me to heal from everything… but i have no choice if i want this pandemic to end. I have to do my part, no matter how much it scares me and how long I feel sick after.

Situation/Trigger
Afternoon reflection/people getting upset with me for stating my displeasure with being disrespected
Emotions/Feelings/Body Sensations & Intensity
Disrespected 70
Betrayed 80
Hurt 90
warm neck/ears, crying, very tense jaw
Immediate Thoughts
Finally got fed up enough to speak out about this person continually arguing with or opposing everything i say and constantly putting words in my mouth and others’. Spoken to them privately about this a few times already and blocked them but STILL every time i say one thing “5 blocked messages”, yet somehow when i speak out about it publicly, im the one in the wrong because hes putting on the fake nice guy act, so if i say im upset about being continually disrespected, im the crazy one. At this point, seriously considering following others footsteps and leaving the community because of this guy. Hes like my father all over again, and i dont deserve to have everything i say constantly put down as if im an idiot in TWO parts of my life.

4 Likes

Hey Doll. Good job for continuining your journaling! (know that you can keep it all in a unique thread by the way - It would still be upped and seen by us all here).

All that’s on my mind today is getting my 2nd dose of the vaccine. Im terrified of medical needles, and im only just back on my feet after like 6 different health issues in a row so im dreading being sick again. Ill be glad when its over, but the journey scares me, especially with how long it always takes me to heal from everything… but i have no choice if i want this pandemic to end. I have to do my part, no matter how much it scares me and how long I feel sick after.

Hey I get it. Honestly I was, for the first time of my life, afraid of a vaccine in terms of how it would affect my body afterwards, while getting the first shot. I’m waiting for the second dose and since I’ve heard that it affected more people, I’m a bit stressed about it. I know it’s the right thing to do and will definitely do it, but when we already struggle with several health issues, which for me includes immune disorders, well it becomes logically stressful. After the first dose, I felt the beginning of a panic attack because I was way too focused on my body sensations. For what it’s worth, know that you’re not alone with these concerns and thoughts. They’re valid. And I’m proud of you for doing what is right anyway. That’s how we’re going to beat this covid shit, all together. :muscle:

Also, I’m glad you’re part of the community - and there is space for everyone around here. :hrtlegolove:

3 Likes

Thanks micro.
Im not sure how to make this into a thread though? I didnt want to keep adding to the same post every day cuz it would just get unwieldy. if theres another way to put them all in the same place lemme know

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