What do we do if we dont drink to forget but we dr

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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Dear Alcohol by Dax
what do we do, if we dont drink to forget, but we drink to feel. pls help

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This is a good question. And there’s definitely a lot of people who could relate to what you have shared here - I certainly do personally. For a lot of people, drinking - or using substances of any kind - is indeed a way to numb themselves and forget the pain they carry on with them. It’s a way to not feel anymore and take a break in the midst of what feels like continuous, excruciating pain. But for others, the use of alcohol can be turned into a fuel that allows you to shed light over emotions you wouldn’t feel otherwise. It’s a way to allow yourself to feel what needs to be felt, maybe even to feel more alive in a general manner. Because on the contrary, daily life would feel dull, numb, empty, painted with grey colors that remove its flavor and interest. It’s hard to keep on going when nothing makes sense and nothing sparks life in you anymore. Personally, I have been experiencing this a lot in my life due to past traumas and depression, which all combined led me to feel things in a very tuned manner. But at times, especially when I was younger, alcohol has appeared to be something that was removing the inhibition I would face when it comes to just feeling things. It’s almost as if it was making me feel alive again… and that alone can be such a vicious cycle too, leading to addiction, if not self-destruction. Because you learn that you need this outlet in order to feel connected to yourself and to the world around you. Unfortunately, at the same time, it doesn’t allow you to actually learn how to feel these emotions, how to feel alive without the substance itself.

I can only speak for myself, but to me personally, learning how to feel, how to name and recognize emotions within me, has been - and still is - a learning process that is supported with therapy. Over time, I’ve realized that I’m not not feeling most of the time… I’m actually feeling A LOT, but having access to it is difficult because there’s layers of protection before it. So therapy in particular, alongside journaling, have been really helpful in learning how to identify emotions and how to dig a little deeper when it seems that I’m completely disconnected from the rest of the world. If you didn’t get to learn this as you grew up, it might be something to learn as an adult - and it’s okay if that is the case. It’s never too late for it, and it’s okay to welcome support into your life in order to reach that point where healing would mean giving space for all that you need to feel. Reconnecting with yourself at a deeper, meaningful level, without needing for alcohol to be an asset in the long run. :heart: