What is reality?

[Moon]

I don’t quite understand what the definition of “losing touch with reality” or “feeling like reality is not real” is when what i’m experiencing is kind of like that…its hard to explain

I work retail so by the time I come home…I can bearly actually walk without leaning on something like a wall for support so I do very much feel pain which is what the internet tells me ‘brings you back to reality’ but for me it doesn’t…I wake up in the morning and I don’t necessarily feel alive like I am alive and I feel pain but it also feels like my head is not attached to my body like a minecraft character…best way I could attempt to describe it

I go to work and on the way there (i sit in the back seat and don’t drive) I zone out pretty hard on absolutely nothing and it sort of feels like ‘something’ disappears and then I get to work and usually I come early so I sit somewhere and wait for my shift…lots of people walk by and I see them and part of me understands ‘hey you saw a person’ another part is beginning to feel like ‘was that real? Are you alive?’

Then I go to work and…it’s retail so horrible suffering and misery but I quickly zone out again and while I do my work since I suffer so badly I’m constantly checking to see when does my break arrive but even in the strange state I’m in I still do my work and I talk to co-workers and it’s the same thing…understand yes it’s real but same time starting to question if it’s not even though I feel some type of constant hell fire pain in my feet or back

Then my family drives me home and I start zoning out again and very oddly it stops if I listen to music or watch tv but if I’m like starting to scroll through Twitter then it begins to feel like reality starts to slip away and it doesn’t come back…if it make sense

I sound very crazy but I’m both not on medicine or drugs so I don’t quite understand what’s happening

[Wings]

There’s a thing many call going on “autopilot,” meaning they are doing stuff without actually thinking about it. I did that a lot when I was younger. I’d fix things, clean things, drive places, talk to people, and so on, and often not remember much of anything about what I’d been doing. It happens out of boredom, especially when each day is much like the previous one. It also happens when what you’re doing isn’t very fulfilling. It can also happen if you’re depressed, or life isn’t going according to expectations. There’s any number of reasons why the mind may want to withdraw.

I don’t agree with the general assumption that pain will bring a person back to reality. Sudden unexpected pain might do that for a bit, but chronic pain can have the opposite effect. When a person is used to the pain, they tend to detach from it emotionally, which can have the effect of being emotionally disconnected from circumstances associated with it, so things can feel unreal.

It sounds like you distract yourself with Twitter or something else. When the mind enters a “world of…” interests that are apart from every day life, then it can lead to feeling “spacey,” when mentally returning to the present moment.

I can’t offer advice related to your work, except I can relate to foot and back pain. I’ve never been able to stand around for more than half an hour before my back starts hurting. Strangely, I can walk great distances. I think walking keeps my back in better alignment than just standing. If you are on your feet a lot, you need great shoes. Low quality or the wrong kind of shoes will cause extreme foot and back pain. I buy nice sneakers, then remove the original insoles and put athletic gel insoles in.

You may not be able to improve all of your circumstances. A lot of us are stuck with jobs that suck, at least for a while. However, if you wish to feel connected or reconnected with reality, it’s easier to do it when you can arrange to have some of your reality feel as though you like being connected to it. In other words, find something you enjoy doing, then be very mindful and appreciative of the experience while you’re doing it. Then your mind wants to automatically connect with such reality.

Some kinds of physical activity help with “grounding in reality.” Being outdoors helps. Going for a swim works pretty well. Anything aerobic does too. Aerobic exercise has the added benefit of triggering “feel good” endorphins, which explains the “runner’s high.”

Know that nothing is more real than you. Even if things seem a bit out of sorts, your awareness, here and now is quite reliably real.

[kjatta99]

Your slowly losing ur soul by doing this u need to get it back…each day u dont express yourself, show your personality, or do things u truly enjoy you slowly lose yourself and becomes harder to get back…believe me i know i worked in a cubicle and become suicidal…i was always the class clown in school, loved makin ppl laugh and smile…and it hit me was and I was like what a waste of my personality by sitting in a cubicle everyday…so i quit and work at Dunkin Donuts where I am free to be myself everyday and so much happier…

let me ask u…what were u like when u were the happiest, or what were your interest growing up? U need to find a job that suits who you are, not the other way around…like i have a friend who was a great artists and she was doin accounting and she wasnt the same person i knew…we talked and now she does graphic design and its like suddenly her old self came back, was awesome to see

[Moon]

That oddly sounds right, I get home and I’m either in too much pain/sore or numbed via my feet and I can’t really leave my bed to go do anything so I pretty much just fall asleep and then repeat over and over till my days off where I mostly just sleep
My department is so under-staffed and while most of us don’t say anything…only a few scream or slam stuff to help with their stress…we are all stressed out…it’s everyday we have ‘emergency mode’ which is when we can’t handle shit anymore and it becomes “fuck the systems. get the deliveries out the door. deal with the aftermath of fuck the systems later” and that just adds more stress to everyone during that time period of the day
We tried stealing people from other departments that failed!

I can’t really remember when I was the happiest…I like sleep, anime, music and photo editing those are my peace but I can’t get jobs in editing without degree’s I tried looking for other jobs remote and in person there nothing other than 1 grocery store that’s hiring and I already work in a soul-crushing grocery store and I can’t exactly quit my current one without something else to replace it

[Moon]

I asked to transfer to a different department at my job…I’m hopeful it goes through, considering the department I want is actually understaffed and really needs people…my department isn’t understaffed it’s just shitty management scheduling daily and management either one don’t care…they know we look like a shit show and scream at us for looking that way causing nobody to want to work there but they don’t do anything to fix it

The other day I almost suffered a heat stroke while my department was in ‘emergency mode’ due to half of our staff (3 out of 6 people) leaving us for lunch and I had to run around begging other employees to please come help my department…nobody wanted or came to help…they just grabbed our boss…she came in and by that time we were almost through the storm…she didn’t care

everyone’s face (only 3 people there) was sweating and red…she our boss didn’t do anything I was the only one who ran out and paid for some cold water bottles for everyone it was so bad everyone almost drank the entire water bottle within seconds

We already have a few new hires I’m hoping it’s enough I can leave before more people quit…cause I know some already are going to in the near future

if I get stuck there…I’m basically begging for whatever it takes to transfer that doesn’t work I’m begging for my hours to be change so I can avoid the problematic hours at my job

[Ephnel]

You might be experiencing some form of depersonalization and or derealization, forms of detachment from yourself and your environment respectively.
It usually arises from alot of stress and anxiety. Your body goes into a mode where you are detached from yourself to be able to escape a threat safely and smoothly.

I’ve experienced this feeling of being detached from body and reality from some time now, and trust me, this is something many people like you and I experience. Some things make it go harder than others, and pain does not do much either. Usually detachment can separate you from suffering but it is a form of suffering on its own.

I think you might need to find a new job, or try to make this one bearable, since i think you might be burnt out, and that contributes. When at home, you should try to do things that make you feel more grounded to yourself and your surrounding, some stuff for me is music(like you!), and feeling things with different textures(it helps since i focus on my sense of feeling).

If you can, speak about this with a professional, since they’d be most suitable to help. If you cant, it does help to speak about this to someone that is close to you and to trust.

P.S: one of the major things that trigger detachment for me is obsessing over it itself. While it is comforting to know the name of what you’re experiencing, I suggest you do mild research about it just to gain some general knowledge, but focusing on it really only makes it worse(for me at least).