i feel like i’m going insane. i don’t know who i am anymore. i don’t feel like i am who i am. i keep having dreams lately and they’re extremely realistic to where i confuse them with my real life. i brought up something i thought my dad and i did and he said we never did that and i realized it was a dream. sometimes i wake up from them and just start crying because i don’t want to wake up because that life in there is so much better. i keep crying a lot too. i’m not a person who usually cries so it’s abnormal. i keep crying over everything. why? i feel so stupid. i cry when i wake up, i cry when a minor inconvenience happens mid-day, i cry myself to sleep. why? why is this happening now? i never cried all too much, just occasionally or when i was watching an anime and some parts struck me but now it’s everyday. why? i feel like i’m going insane from it. i don’t know who i am now. i’m moody too. i snap at people easier and cant keep my emotions in check. i’m getting frustrated with my dad and my friend. i don’t know if i posted it here but i snapped at my friend and said something i shouldn’t have that was mean. i think i did post it, i’m not sure. i felt like doing that today too but he hasn’t even done anything wrong?? it’s just me?? what’s wrong with me lately?? why cant i keep my emotions under my own control?? i hate it. i hate it so much. i’ve been complaining a lot too. i don’t notice it because it’s just things that are bothering me but my dad says i complain a lot. i feel bad about it. i even get angry with him when he asks a question and i answer and he doesn’t hear me or when i ask him a question and he asks me what i said because he was on his phone or distracted. what’s wrong with me lately???
oh friend, it sounds like a very tough time right now!
Do you have a list of things you do soothe yourself or to ease the stress? Breathing exercises, art or maybe a walk? Do you have someone professional who you can talk to? Or call?
we’re here for you, you can vent it out here if it’ll help ease your mind.
i don’t really have anything that calms me down. watching a good show or talking to my friend helps. video games used to be my main source of stress relief but i stopped playing awhile ago because it started angering me and i didn’t want to be a person who got angry while playing a game. i miss playing, though. i watch streamers sometimes, mainly only one or two, and it helps me feel calm. i miss the people i played with as well. it was fun. it was a good place to let go of stress and everything. watching a good show only helps put it aside and i cant really talk to my friend anymore because he’s always busy or just doesn’t want to talk. i miss him. it’s only making me feel worse. missing him makes me want to cry and then i get frustrated for missing him because he has his own life and his own problems and i feel selfish but then i’m upset because i want to feel selfish sometimes. all of my emotions are contradicting. i dont know what to do. i don’t want to talk to a professional, it would make me uncomfortable. they’d only say to try exercise or something anyways. i tried it, it doesn’t work. journaling doesn’t work. art doesn’t work. music doesn’t work. cooking doesn’t work. i just want to fall asleep for a long time
Kit, Seth and Milty are playing right now if you wanna join us for a laugh… it’s a bit loud and noisy though!
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