I’m so selfish for trying to kill myself… I don’t want my sisters to endure more abuse while I’m gone… I’m such an idiot. This is only one reason why I hate myself too, which isn’t really surprising.
You were calling out for help & nobody listen to you. I am sorry that the system failed both you & your syblings. (I’ve no clue what age you all are.)
You need third parties involved that aren’t influenced directly or indirectly by those responsible for your & your siblings hurt. I know it is scary & you believe no one will hear you out or there is nothing that you can do.
You’re not selfish. You’re in survival phase that synched in when you went through a traumatic experience. You’re human just like all of us.
I wish only good things for you & your syblings.
You are not an idiot. You have immense worth and are immensely loved. Hold fast. I know it’s hard, but you are strong and you can do this.