What the helll is wrong with me

I am sorry for not responding today very much but I have been busy with work and I also took a train to visit my parents for the weekend. There are a couple of posts I would really like to respond to and I will, I even feel a bit guilty for writing this because it is just not that serious. It just bugs me.

Well recently I have picked up reading again. I like fantasy books and I have heard that reading before sleep helps with sleeping. So I actually got really into some books but there has been a strange thing happening. I think I care too much. Let me explain I had reading a chapter where something bad happens to the main character and it made my thoughts race and I was very upset. My brother wanted to talk to me and I did talk to him but I wanted to say “Leave me the fuck alone “ so hard and there was no reason for it. I was just so upset about the book but it is so stupid to care this much about a book character.

Similar thing happened today while reading a different book on the train. How can I get emotionally overwhelmed by reading. It makes reading excitingly but also tiring and emotionally draining. Recently (Like a month ago) I have started to take hire dosage of antidepressants ( currently on the highest dose :no_mouth:) and I thought it might be connected but it has had a more stabilising effect on my mood overall.

Suicidal thoughts started to appear more often and I have no idea why. My mind is becoming more and more strange to me. What the fuck is happening over there! I am more stable but sometimes I feel like I am going mad and I don’t know why. It could be the smallest thing. Something strange has been going on and I don’t think it’s good…


Weirdly enough in rarer cases antidepressants can have those kinds of side affects for a while, so it could be helpful to talk to your gp about it. It could be that you need to change the brand or dose.
I changed brand and it did the world of good to be honest! The other brand made me feel the same, made me nauseous, I felt like it was normal to have big mood swings every month or so or feel extremely low every now and again.
Change of brand with the same dose and it’s a whole new ball game.
So it’s definitely worth the mention! Don’t be afraid to talk about that sort of thing, because you deserve the best outcome for your mental health!
I totally get getting attached to characters, many times I’ve felt a loss when something happens or felt enraged when it doesn’t end the way I hoped. I find it hard to read Harry Potter because I know I’ll be heart broken about Sirius all over again!
I’ve found it helpful to break it up with a non fiction book or just light reading. Fruits basket is fun!


Medication can make you feel more emotionally reactive, but if it is related to medication, the effect should diminish as your body adjusts to it.

There is a part of the brain that makes no distinction between remembering something, reading something, or experiencing something in the present moment. That’s why a suspenseful movie can make your heart race, even while being aware that you are sitting comfortably in your living room. Have you ever seen a movie or video where the camera is positioned as a passenger would be, on a roller coaster? You can actually feel a sensation of movement sometimes.

There is nothing wrong with you for experiencing an emotional reaction to what you are reading. It only becomes a problem when it affects your ability to function in the real world. Sometimes I find myself feeling tremendous empathy towards a fictional character, then if I give it some thought, I realize that I am relating to the author.

I think it’s much more of a problem if you read something emotionally moving, and you are not moved. A very useful thing about this quirk of the brain, is that through good writing, you are actually gaining useful experience in your thought process that can help prepare you for dealing with real life issues. If you imagine yourself in one of the characters roles, you can put thought into how you would react in the same situation. I think it’s an adaptive strategy built into our DNA, that allows us to consider strategies for problems that haven’t happened to us yet.

I experience a lot of emotions when I’m reading. That’s how I can tell that it’s a good book.


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