I’m so tired of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results… aren’t I by definition insane??
I guess it depends on what you’re trying to do. You can try and fail to run a mile, but eventually succeed. You can try and play a cello and be horrible at it, and you can keep being horrible at it for a long time, but you may eventually get good at it. Doing those kinds of things are evidence of being very sane. If you put on a pair of wings, and jump off the barn roof, crashing in a heap, then repeat the same attempt with exactly the same wing configuration, more than a couple of times, with the same result – ending up in a heap, then you are stepping into the insane zone.
The funny thing is, it’s a very sane thing to recognize that you’re doing something insane. With that recognition, you can find your way out of the insane zone.
But why should I keep trying when I know that every thing I do will end in failure, and cycle back to depression again?
Sometimes it takes a lot of tries and different ways of going about things in order to get the results we desperately need. For now, you are recognizing that doing things this way are not getting you to where you are hoping to be, so maybe exploring other options or ways of achieving happiness is necessary.
For example, I reached this realization years ago. Trying to simply change my attitude myself or force myself to do things to free myself from depression did not work. What worked for others did not work for me, and it wasn’t until I sought professional help that made me realize what worked best for me personally to overcome depression and other things. It happened to be the right mix of meds with specific therapy that targeted the root of why I felt the way I did. Just my personal experience.
I CAN tell you, though, that seeking a happy life free from depression is not pointless, and it is not insane. You deserve a life free from pain, you may just need some extra help to get there and help you see the right path for you personally to achieve it. Don’t give up, you are incredible for still trying and staying resilient. We are here for you.
I know that it can feel like you always do the same thing and fail but the only way to break a cycle is to keep trying. I don’t mean to constantly do the same thing but to change something slightly because sometimes the smallest change can be what matters. I know how it can feel to just end up in the same place over and over and wanting things to change but also sometimes trying to change too much or too drastically or not being true to yourself can be even more damaging. After all a butterfly flapping its wings can cause a tsunami (not really but that is another of those saying people say like the insanity one. But both are built on fallacies and are merely expressions people say but they are not based on facts. I once read a good article about Einstein’s quote that you may find interesting as well (warning it talks about God but is not a religious article)
I don’t know what you are doing or going through that you feel constantly stuck, but if you would like to share more we may be able to give more precise advice. It is up to you, of course, as always. I think you can find your way out of this cycle. Keep rowing and you’ll escape your Charybdis
your thoughts and emotions are valid. it can seem so hopeless and sometimes pointless when you find yourself in a negative cycle. i’m currently stepping out of a really rough period of depression and i know deep down that another one of these times will happen again. i keep trying and fighting though because that’s all we can do, yaknow? and as you probably already know, you can make it through this and find your better tomorrow. life is all about living, loving, learning, and growing, especially from the mistakes we make. medications, therapists, etc. definitely help relieve the heaviness of those depressions after failure though so i do hope reaching out to a professional helps.
when it comes to facing the cycle you’re in, would you want to talk through what you’re trying and maybe we can walk through some ways to avoid or embrace the failure so it isn’t so heavy on your heart? a lot of the time, just talking/typing out what we want to accomplish can help us think through new solutions or have people in this cool community suggest things you might not have thought of! we’re here for you through it all, robyn. i believe in you to get through this. you’re not alone.
Hi there @RobynTheUnlikely,
I’ve been reading some of your recent posts and can completely understand how you would feel overwhelmed, burned out, and exhausted by all that’s going on in your life.
But, as far as I can tell, while I understand how what you’re going through may feel like failure, I’m not sure that you’re actually giving yourself enough credit for the successes in your life – the fact that you’ve continued to try and allow yourself to fail is a great success. So many others would simply choose not to try when they’re gone through so many challenges, but you choose to persevere. That’s impressive. It takes time, but you’re allowing yourself to figure out what works for you and that’s a valuable thing.
Also, as a sidenote, there’s also some success in knowing when to quit. Sometimes it’s okay or even good not to try, so try not to beat yourself up if you feel that you aren’t doing enough (I saw some themes of that in a past post).
I’d like to reply to an excerpt from one of your other recent posts:
I’m glad that you’ve been able to recognize that life has ups and downs. Because it does! Life sucks sometimes! But life is also great at other times. When you’re at the lowest point on that roller coaster, I understand how hard it is to remember and understand how the high points make the whole thing worth riding, but I promise that those highs will come again with time (and if it feels like they really aren’t, you may want to consider professional support).
With that said, when you are at these low points, I’m glad that you’re reaching out here. Please don’t hesitate to share more at any time. You are valued, loved, and are not alone in this.
I am sorry you are going through these frustrating times. I took a peak at your past posts, and I want to say: I don’t think you are doing the same thing, over and over again. You have been making strides to a hold of your situation, and try to navigate it the best you can. To take steps forward against the tide, even though that is the hard path. I am sure you have not repeated the exact same things, over and over. That is hard to see when you are in a down time. Everything looks gloomy when you are in a down time. But remember, we are here for you in those down time. Let us know how you are doing, what’s on your mind, and what you need.
When you’re feeling better, take a look at what happened, your feelings, the actions of others, etc. Look to see what pulled you down, and what seemed to bring you back up. Find what elevates you, and what brings you down. Start breaking the cogs of that cycle, one tidbit at a time. We’re here for ya.