When life gives you lemons

Hi there, Heart Support. Happy New Year.

Like many here it seems, I learned about this website/resource via @kitboga (whom I only discovered a few weeks ago, but whose Twitch livestreams have rapidly become something of a security blanket during a challenging time of life.) I have been lurking around Heart Support for awhile, but this is my first time making a post. So (if you don’t mind), a bit o’ background about me…

For much of my youth I suffered from some of the more common afflictions of the human condition: depression, loneliness, debilitating social anxiety. After ~1.5 decades of major mental health challenges, I got tired of stumbling my way miserably through existence, and began to work (and I mean really work) on healing & bettering myself. Through this process, I discovered yoga & meditation, which were nothing short of transformative (can’t emphasize that enough). Fast forward the clock, and I have now maintained a disciplined, daily practice of both for nearly ten years. For most of that time, I have felt better mentally, physically, and spiritually than I have my entire life. Full stop.

That said, these past few months have been doozies. I’m trying to be grateful for the challenges and the lessons they offer, but life is a lot right now, and it helps to talk about these things. The anonymity offered by the internet means that talking to strangers online is sometimes easier than seeking support from “irl” friends/family. So Imma give this a try and see what happens…

(1) About three-months ago, I gave birth to my first (and likely only) baby. He is an absolutely gorgeous little boy, but he was born with numerous health problems: a club foot, hearing loss, abnormally slow growth (he is now less than the 3rd percentile in terms of both weight & length), and “noisy breathing” (cause thus far unknown). All of these things in isolation are quite treatable, but my son’s doctors (he has had 1-2 doctor/hospital appointments every week since he was born) are nonetheless concerned. Apparently, it is rare for a baby to have so much going on at once, and so the doctors worry that these issues could be indicative of some more serious overarching health problem. I love this baby SO goddamn much, and so while I fall decidedly into the agnostic/athiest camp, I find myself praying a dozen times a day that he will be alright and that his health issues will get sorted out. I think I would die if something happened to my little boy.

(2) On top of that, about a month ago my landlord told me, out of nowhere, that she wants to sell the place my family rents, and thus we need to be out of our apartment by the end of January. In addition to the newborn baby, my fiancé & I also have three cats. So we need to find a new spot that is cool with that, on a limited budget, in the middle of an affordable housing crisis. I am beside myself with stress, and so is my (amazing, wonderful) fiancé. This has caused a not insignificant rift in an otherwise awesome relationship. So we’re trying real hard to navigate that.

Whew. OK. That’s me. That’s where I’m at. Thanks in advance for the love & good words. I think that the work people are doing on this site is so valuable. Moreover, talking about mental health & life challenges helps normalize/destigmatize them, making it easier (hopefully) for others to do the same. So my intention is to respond to some of the messages others have left as well, but as I’m spinning a lot of proverbial plates atm, please do bear with me if I don’t get to that right away.

~We are a way for the cosmos to know itself…


Hello @LaFaye welcome!!!

I’m so happy that you’ve decided to post :hrtlegolove:

My son had a couple problems too. He had terrible eyesight and ended up having surgery when he was about 8yrs old. He had another surgery for something I can’t mention because it’s private for him before he was 10yrs old. I understand the fear you feel right now and completely get you 100%.

There are programs for low income that will help you take care of your baby. In California it’s called 211, where you can find these government run programs. You might have something similar where you live.

I’m sorry that you have to find a new place to live. That sounds pretty stressful having so much to deal with all at once. I’m happy that you have a “amazing and wonderful” fiancé and I hope that you can be each other’s rock in this. Remember that you’re on each other’s team and keep communication open and honest. You’ll get thru it together and be way stronger as a couple.

You are loved!


The good news is that you’ve worked on yourself and have grown in wisdom and strength. Now, life is throwing some heavy duty challenges at you. Imagine what state you’d be in if you hadn’t spent so much time working on yourself. That you feel better than at any other time is testament to the amount of work you’ve put in.

The Dali Lama admits to having a hard time with life sometimes. He even talks about finding it hard to meditate when events have him distracted. So, if you feel a bit rattled, you’re in good company, and such feelings don’t negate all the physical, mental and spiritual evolution you’ve attained.

I’ll say prayers for you baby too. Has anyone recommended a special diet or supplements?

It sounds like you may have to jump into a less than perfect situation pretty soon. I love watching videos about tiny homes on Youtube, also campers and motor homes. Are there areas not too far away from your source of income that have more affordable properties? I bought my daughter a place just outside Dothan Alabama, three acres and a mobile home for $18k. If I was on my own now, I’d be looking for a cabin in the woods. I’m married though and my wife is pretty attached to the in town conveniences. The house is old but paid for, we’re old, and the taxes are relatively low, so I doubt we’re going anywhere. The house was a bit of a wreck when we bought it, but we fixed it up, then it got flooded, then we fixed it up again. Fortunately we were able to improve the drainage and reduce the odds that it’ll flood again.

It might be worth looking in Craigslist for a place. That’s where I found my daughter’s place.

BTW, if the place you’re in is for sale, is there any chance you’d be interested in or able to buy it?

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From: Micro

Hey friend. Thank you so much for posting this and reaching out here. I’m so grateful that you have taken the time to share what’s on your heart (even if it’s been a little while now), especially as you’ve been dealing with some very valid reasons to feel overwhelmed. You got a lot on your plate and I can only imagine the pressure you are experiencing. Not only with your little boy, but also with the need to move to a new place quite suddenly. These are major changes that in “normal” times already bring their share of stress, but when it piles up it can be even more difficult to find room to breathe for yourself. Life has this way sometimes to really seem to throw at us all obstacles at once. It’s good that you know you have a safe space right here to let it out when it is necessary.

I hope with all my heart that your baby is doing okay right now, that his health issues are getting better. He’s very lucky to have you and your fiancé by his side, really. You obviously love him and care so much about him. There is no doubt that he can feel that love and that it is somehow healing to him too.

On a different note, I also hope that you keep finding stability in your yoga and meditation practice. The grounding it offers can be so needed when it feels like we are surrounded by changes we can’t control. Such a precious outlet to maintain in your life, especially now.

I’m thinking of you today and looking forward to reading some updates if you are willing to share. You are loved so very much. We’re all rooting for you and for your family to find peace, restoration and healing. Hold Fast. :hrtlegolove:

From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, Its been a short while since you posted and I wondered how you and your little boy are doing? Firstly I am so sorry that your little boy was born unwell, no child should be, it seems so cruel that life should start with a struggle. I personally have never had a child so I cannot imagine that feeling of knowing that your child has problems that you cannot fix as I think as an adult you imagine that you are supposed to be able to mend the problems of a child but how blessed is your child to have such a loving mum as you to take him through his life, knowing he will be loved and cared for with every ounce of your being. I hope the doctors have worked out what was causing the breathing problems and have been able to sort that out and that in time some of the other issues can also too be helped. I send my love to you both and wish you well. I would love to hear some feedback as to how you both are. Much Love Lisa x

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