I know this is not a new feeling. I know I am not the only one. This is a tale as old as time. But I have been hit by the friends having weddings/ friends getting engaged swarm recently.
As a single person who is super awesome and caring but can’t seem to find someone to reciprocate, it can be depressing.
I want to be happy for my friends. I know there is no good in comparing their situation to mine. But it doesn’t change the fact that I want to cry at their wedding. And not from joy.
I felt this all the time but knowing that i’m a christian and i have a good relationship with god. But all my friends are in relationships or crushing on someone. And i’m the only one who isn’t with someone or crushing on anyone. But i keep hearing god saying someone is coming in your life soon but you don’t know when i do. and i feel ashamed because i’m not making my mom proud that i’m not with one. But it take time, there a lady at my church who was letting us her testimony and how she met her husband. she like my husband was in the military i don’t remember what part of the military. and he want to go out with her but she didn’t want to and he kept asking her mind this, this was 1940 mid 1950 don’t remember and so she said fine but come to church with me and he agreed with her to go. So they went and she saw god change his life and she heard god say to her this is your husband i have for you. and they got married had kids 10 years he passed away from pancreas cancer or liver cancer don’t remember. when she left my mom was tearing up and my mom goes that was really nice and wired that she come up to us and telling us that.and she says hannah that a sign that your going to meet your husband in the church and i’m waiting. There a guy at my collage he a tutor there and he really cute and god told me that the one i’m not sure. so i’m going up to him tuesday.
You are very right that it’s not a “you only” feeling. I have been feeling this way a lot lately as well.
The worst is when all the people getting married and engaged say ‘don’t worry your time will come’ as if that pat answer changes the feelings.
For me I sought out someone who I kind of new already, and new was also single and have started up a friendship with them. We don’t alienate ourselves from our married/in a relationship friends but at least we have someone and somewhere to go to when we just need someone who understands the way that we are feeling. We may not be best friends, but we enjoy our time together and like that we have someone one on the same level romantically as we are.
You are not alone in feeling this way. The right person will be placed into your life when the time is right. Just know that one day it will happen for you and when it does it’s going to be the best feeling you have ever felt.
Hey Elaine, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I’m going through something similar myself, so I can sympathize. I had to get off social media because the progress everyone else is making in their lives causes me to feel bad about myself instead of excited for my friends. The ppl who are happily married is the hardest, because I’ve barely ever been in a relationship and at my age it’s a very sore subject for me.
What I am trying to do, and it’s not easy, is take part in a lot of fulfilling stuff in my life. I am trying to make progress wherever I can - intellectually, creatively, with my job, etc - so I can be happy with where my life is at, measuring myself only to my past self.
I mention it because maybe that would be helpful to you. I think we are both still going to have those days where it’s hard to see many people married. We’re going to have days where we can’t help but compare ourselves to others. Where we feel especially frustrated bc we’d love to love somebody and just can’t find them. But I think making sure to do things you love and grow in all aspects of your life can only boost your mood overall. It gives other things to focus on besides the relationship stuff, and strengthens against those negative feelings.
I hope this can be useful to you and if not at least know you’re not alone out there! A lot of us are going through this, so happy to band together anytime
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. It sounds cliched, but it’s true that you’re not alone in feeling envious of others, especially when the world seems to celebrate the weddings and engagements and happy times of others so frequently.
But just know that you are a good person and, even though they are so prioritized in our culture, romantic relationships don’t define you or your worth. If you keep your heart open, you will be able to find someone. And even if you don’t soon, that’s okay too; a lot of us on here feel the same way and we empathize. The world is full of people who would be glad to listen to you and simply exist by your side until, and of course after, you do find the person who reciprocates your feelings.