i tried to overdose myself by taking 10 pills all at once im just tired of the way they treat me in this household im tired of holding on , im tired of pretending im happy … depression and suicidal thought are winning and im losing … why cant they fucking see im depressed , why cant they stop blaming me for everythingg , they dont understand how this hurts imagine being 16 years old and depress and want to kill yourself and your family dont even care … they just want to see you gone . i cantt doo this nomore , i literally starve myselfff , i literally try to sufficate myself to death and nobody see the hurt and the crying out for help … i wish was strong enough , worthy enough and beautiful enough to feel loved by my family … 16 years of being depressed , suicidal and traumatized and nobody see the crying out for help … its me against everybody and everybody is beating me done more and more everyday … maybe i deserve all of this , maybe this my punishment and i probably deserve it all …
( thank you all for being so supportive and nice to me , you guys made me feel like im somebody )
Hey @kennedy. I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I’m afraid my reply won’t be good enough, but I wanted to try anyway.
I know what it’s like to be depressed at sixteen, even for years before that, at ten and eight and six. It really sucks. It sucks having a family that isn’t supportive. I know how hard it is to live with people who don’t seem to care. I’m sorry that they don’t show you how beautiful and worthy and loved you truly are. You deserve all of those good things in your life. You don’t deserve to be treated without understanding and love. You are the only person in this world with the specific personality and light that makes you. You matter, and it would be heartbreaking if you weren’t here anymore.
If you feel that you’re going to try hurting yourself again, please call the national suicide hotline and let them know you’re in crisis. They are there to help out people who are feeling suicidal, and you deserve to get help. Here is a website that has a lot of listed options for different countries. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
If you think the parents of any friend you have would be supportive of you, I’d suggest going to their parents and talking to them. Maybe they can help you out. Even if it’s just coming up with a plan on how to move forward in the next several months. Heart Support also has a book called “Dwarf Planet: A practical guide through depression.” If you can get that, it might help you figure some things out, maybe help you to feel better. And when you go back to school next year, if you haven’t figured out a way to feel somewhat human, I would suggest talking to the school counselor. They are there to help in troubled times, so don’t be embarrassed to ask them for help.
thank you , i literally cry reading this because you guys are the only one who truly understand me … im afraid to get help because it will only make it worse … last time my neighbor called the cops , i was crying in the corner & i told them im fine & they left then my mom was cursing me out telling me if she ever go to jail they are going to put me in foster care & they never gonna love like she do…
If you’ve told your mom how you feel and have asked for help, and she ignores you, that’s neglect. She can get in trouble for that. Every “child” (I realize you’re sixteen so you’re not exactly a kid but you are still considered a minor) deserves to get the help they need. It’s a basic right. When you need medical attention in any form, whether it’s mental or physical, and your parent knows about it and doesn’t take you to get help and has no plans on doing so, it’s neglect. That is not love. She knows she’s doing something wrong if she tells you she will go to jail and that you might go to foster care if you tell someone what’s wrong . She’s right that they might put you in foster care until you’re considered an adult, but that doesn’t mean the people they put you with will be terrible people. I’m hoping someone with good experience with being a foster parent or growing up in the system will chime in here because I don’t have experience with it. That being said, just because you talk to someone doesn’t mean that you will automatically be put in foster care.
You deserve to get help, and if your parent isn’t going to give it to you, please try to find someone outside of your home that will help you. If you’re being abused in anyway, go to the police. You don’t deserve that. If you need any medical help (mental, physical), go to another adult that you trust. Seek out the guidance counselor or nurse at school for medical help, although for those two options, unfortunately you’ll have to wait until school starts again. I know going to someone to get help is easier said than done, it’s scary to open yourself up to someone you don’t know and it’s scary to talk to someone if you’re worried about the outcome, but it’s the only way to possibly get in a better situation. Sometimes you have to rely on an authority figure other than your parents.
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