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When you just want to give up

Casey hosts as a user from the Support Wall didn’t think they had any value or worth. Take a listen:

First Look:

  1. Do you have goals for your overarching life? If so, get these in front of you. If not, no worries for now
  2. For you, where do your goals come from? How did you start them? If you don’t have goals, why not? (No judgement here!)

The user in the video talks about how they don’t particularly feel like living anymore. They say that they hate themselves, don’t trust anyone, and will most likely die alone. In their past, they’ve tried to set up goals, and chase some version of success, but they ended up barely passing high school and they’re not sure how to move forward. Further, they go on to say that their problems are small compared to others.

In the video, Casey tells the user, “You know…you don’t have to do great things every day. Especially when you’re in a state like this, it’s ok to take it slow. You can build it up little by little.” Then he talks about setting up goals (you don’t even have to call them goals) and things that you can do each day to “argue” against the idea that you’re worthless - like getting out of bed. You can make getting up out of your bed a goal. You can make stepping outside a goal. There is something that fills up our energy and purpose that happens when we say “I’m going to do this thing” and then we do that thing. It’s powerful, and it can be built up.

Today, don’t worry about life goals, yearly goals, monthly goals, or even weekly goals. Don’t worry about where you “should” be, or chasing after some version of “success”. Instead, try this:

  1. Think of 5 base goals you want to accomplish tomorrow. And, I’m talking base goals - we’re just starting out. The goals should be simplistic and straightforward.
  2. Write down your goals on a piece of paper, and put that paper somewhere you can see. Write a little space for a checkmark next to each goal like so:
    • Get out of bed ___
  3. The next day, get up and look at your goals, first thing. Remember why you’re here, focus your thoughts, and do the goals
  4. When you have completed a goal, check it off until you have completed your list

Your brain is wired to feel rewarded when you check off something you planned to do. Use the energy you’ve gained, and set more goals the next day. Make sure you keep them simple, and work your way forward intentionally.

Well guys, what I usually do is reply with “what I got when I did the exercise” but to be honest, this is a thing I try to do each day. I try to set up my life to flow like so:

  • Take the time to clarify my purpose, and who I know myself to be
  • Identify all of the Roles that I hold in my life (Husband, Father, Pastor, etc)
  • Set up Yearly > Monthly > Weekly > Daily goals. Which sounds daunting, but really only involves doing a retreat every 6 months or so, 30 minutes every Sunday, and about 10 minutes each morning
  • I write those goals down, and post them in a visible place where I can see them. Daily-wise the goals turn into tasks. And once I’ve decided what to do, I go down the list each day and intentionally ignore things that aren’t important to me (which is hard!) and work on those tasks
  • I highly recommend this process, and can speak more to it if you like. Email me at [email protected]

Above all, when you’re in a tough spot or struggling deeply, don’t buy the whole hog here. Literally, create a few tasks for you to do the next day, and then do them. It’s the most human, fulfilling thing you can do. Take the energy you get from doing that, build momentum, and discover who you are.

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