I am hoping to get the courage to kill myself this week. I believe there is a God and Jesus but I don’t believe he saves everyone. God saves those he chooses.
Matthew 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.
John 15;16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.
Deuteronomy 7:6 The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession
All of these verses tell us there are people not chosen by God and that we can try and choose to follow Him and it won’t matter if he doesn’t want us back.
If God doesn’t talk to me I’m going to hang myself. I dont believe God has a plan for me and if the God of the universe can’t even talk to me why stay on this earth.
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through a rough time right now! If you don’t mind me asking, what is encouraging you to hurt yourself? How come you’re thinking about ending it all?
If you want to talk about why you are trying to get the courage to end your life, we would like to listen. Try to support you. I hope you will try to find help or someone to talk to. We care about you.
I don’t want to get into a religious debate or whatever, but you can take any sentence out of the Bible and interpret it any way you want and make it work for you. For example, this passage when taken out of context can be pretty confusing and intimidating. It’s actually the end of a parable talking about how everyone is invited to God’s heavenly banquet.
Hey @Cookchj it sounds like you are going through a really rough patch at the moment. I’m sorry you just want it to end but you ending it won’t help you get better. It will only take away that chance for you. I can’t help you with any of the religious stuff but know that every life is worth living. Every life has some kinda of meaning to someone. Even if you can’t see it at the moment. I hope you feel better and that you don’t go through with it.
Hey so, why do you think a god in the world is needed to choose who lives? You do realize that there are absolutely terrible people and diseases and things that happen in this world right? And if there was a god, that means they purposefully did those things, would you really call this a just god in the first place? If a god exists its most likely a narcissist unjust and cruel careless god.
Is it really so scary to think that you can live by your own will, and not someone’s “value”? That’s very demeaning to you as well as the fact that you’re not going to find an answer unless you look for it yourself. The great thing when you realize you dont need to rely on a god is that you learn you can make your own path in life.
Living by a book can be good if you look to it for certain life lessons, but living it to it’s fullest can be dangerous not only for self judgement, but your self worth. I hope you know that you matter, not because of any god or universal entity or book says you should, but because you say so, and the fact that all living beings have value in this world. It is just up to us what we choose to do with it. Timelines may be written out but they can also change at our very will. There’s no reason to be afraid of your own power and value.
This may not be a perspective you’re looking for, but but I can tell you right now no one chooses who lives except themselves, and you find purpose in existing by finding meaning in the things around you. I can tell you right now not to kill yourself because I care about your life and your existence, I could even tell you this is a sign if I wanted to, but in the end it is up to you what you choose to do with your life. Your life is in your own hands.
Has there been a lot happening in your life to make you feel like you’re not valued and your life isn’t worth living?
If the notion of god doesn’t give you hope, what else would? Are there people you love? Hobbies you enjoy? Places you like to see?
It can be extremely overwhelming to think “if I don’t have x I don’t have anything” (in this case a god who chose you).
There are so many joys to experience and so much love to gain from life. Even here, there is a community ready to share their love with you and find a way to help you find your way out of this moment.
And that’s the thing, this is just a moment. I know it feels like an infinite hole, but there are also an infinite amount of amazing moments to come too.
Hey. Faith is really tough. The problem with faith, by definition, is that you have to believe without concrete knowledge. You have to use what you’ve learned about God and Jesus and Heaven, and trust in it without empirical proof. If you could prove something as big as the existence of God, what is there to have faith in? He’s just there, and he’s not quite so mighty if you can sum him up with a little research.
I don’t think that’s what those verses are saying at all. Like what @Mystrose said, some of them can be taken out of context. I thought along the same lines as you until just a couple years ago, when I went through a program learning about grace. In short, God’s love and forgiveness are available to anyone who chooses them, who turns away from what they’re doing and embraces him. In this world, that’s not a lot of people, even among those who think they’re living Godly lives. “For many are called, but few are chosen”–everyone is invited, but only those that truly embrace the invitation are allowed in.
God doesn’t speak to us like a phone call. He speaks to us through people, circumstances, and nature. Maybe he led you here, and maybe these comments from regular people are his way of trying to reach you through ideas you haven’t had before.
God has a plan for all of us, but we may not understand it. I can’t tell you what his plan is for you. Going back to how much less impressive God would be if we could understand him, my pastor once said “if I could understand what God had in store for me, would it really be that amazing?” He never promised life would be easy, he just promised he would be there through it all. I know that’s really churchy, and I know you hate to hear that. I get it, I hate it when people put the Jesus band-aid on things too. Sometimes being in the middle of God’s plan sucks. You’re not a bad person for feeling that way.
I can’t promise that things will get objectively better for you. What I can say is that if you stop looking for God in the big things, you might find him in the small things. If you stop trying to fight for control of your life and let go, you might be surprised where you land. My faith in God was restored after I couldn’t stand to be in school any longer, despite praying for energy, focus and drive. I dropped out, got a low-level drafting job, and found a sense of purpose in that I’d never felt before. From there, my career started blossoming over the next 8 years. I let go of what I thought God wanted for me, and he guided me into something far more fulfilling.
I hope this helps. God loves you like a father, but like with fathers it’s not always pleasant. You’re not the only one who doesn’t understand what God has in store. When you’re in the middle of a valley, all you see is the valley. I would suggest looking for a Celebrate Recovery group in your area. Bring your issues and your doubts, join with other people in the same boat, and begin a journey to understanding what it’s all about. That made all the difference for me. One thing I know, if you’re not here anymore, there is no longer a chance to find out what God might have in store for you. Hold fast.
P.S. when I’m feeling distant from god, I LOVE listening to Flyleaf! Some of my favorites are Treasure, Arise, All Around Me, and Again.
the failure to meet expectations lies at the heart of heartbreak.
What does “God talking to you” sound like? I mean this is a genuine and caring way, no sass, no snide meant.
But how do you imagine this will happen? Do you think you’ll have a vision or a hallucination where you hear an Actual voice? Is this the expectation you have?
I’ve had moments of hearing the right words in unexpected places, like from a rerun episode of Charmed the old witchy tv series, or from a random line from Law and Order that was 100% what i needed to hear, and my heart and mind were open to the universe to hear it and feel it.
Or can you feel God’s presence in the beauty of an unexpected moment like the sun backlighting the clouds, the rain sounds against a window, the perfection of tea on a chilly night? The presence and quiet calm of a pet, the touch of a friend or the hug of a loved one? The voices of the lovely folks here on this wall, the piercing words of a song you haven’t heard before?
To me, God is in everything, and speaks to us through everything. one of the things I’ve read when I was younger that I absolutely loved was if you stay next to a flowing river for an extended period, you’ll learn so many life lessons. God is not only within us, but we are also within the Divine.
God’s not gonna call on a cellphone, but is already speaking to you in so many ways, it’s up to us to be able to “hear” it. That’s what I believe at least.
You matter, you’re important, you have something to contribute to the world. I hope you stay with us and discover all the wonderful things life has to offer you still.
We love and care about you, and it hurts to see your pain and feelings of hopelessness.
Like @SheetMetalHead replied: He quoted the account in Isaiah where Elijah felt the same way, Elijah wanted to die and felt so afraid and hopeless. Elijah was a normal human with feelings like ours. Since the Almighty made the human heart and gave mankind qualities in his image, does he not sympathize and feel our pain too? Yes he sure does. Deeply.
In our time the Creator speaks very much by the written word preserved in Scripture, it’s just up to us to read and listen to get comfort.
Some verses I find comforting:
ACTS 10:34, 35 - God is not partial, but in every nation the one that fears him and works righteousness is acceptable to him.
This verse above assures us that God is not partial. Every person on earth can be acceptable by choosing to honor and respect Him as a humble child who strives to walk in His guidance.
PHILIPIANS 4:6,7 - Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer . . . let your petitions be made known to God; and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your mental powers.
PSALM 34:18 - God is close to the brokenhearted; he saves those who are crushed in spirit.
JAMES 4:8 - Draw close to God and He will draw close to you!
ISAIAH 49: 15 - Can a woman forget her nursing child? Or have no compassion for the son of her womb? Even if these women forget, I would never forget you.
I like this one in Isaiah especially because we all know how close the bond is between mother and nursing child, yet God is saying His attachment and love for us is far far greater, even more tender and compassionate.
I’ve been wanting to kill myself for the better part of 30 years. Reason, it’s simple, the math, the bad in this world far out weighs the good. No good thing in my life makes the bad time any easier.
I have no purpose, i really do try to do everything in my life the way it’s supposed to be done. I try to be a righteous person but I fail at times. I have spent more time in the Bible and in meditation and prayer than probably all of you in the last 5 years and everything had continued to fall further down the toilet, marriage, health, finances, career. Lost my home lost a job I enjoyed, all emotion in my marriage is gone. I don’t know how to find any joy in this life and I can’t seem to dilute my standard of what I should be and just ignore my worthlessness. There is nothing I do that can’t be replaced by 8 billion other people.
I mentioned it in another post but I have shot myself before with a 38, unfortunately I failed at that like everything else in my life and it has made having the courage for another attempt very hard. So when I finally get the courage I need to not mess around and just do it.
Thanks for the attempt to help. I’ve got my noose all set. If any of you knew who my kids were I’d have you tell them I’m sorry, they deserve better. I wish I had written them a letter but now is the right time.
There is always a way, there’s therapy to help, there’s support groups, and we’re here for you. We see you and we hear your anguish.
The fact that you exist, that you are still here even though there are a billion plus others, is the proof that you have a purpose and a role.
Faith is an amazing thing. If you’ve cried out for help, or for you to be given a sign, it’s coming, you just have to wait for it. That is what faith is, knowing that it will come.
Please call a crisis hotline number and talk to someone, call your kids and tell then you’re hurting, call anyone in your life, get on the HS discord and chat there.
You have options that will allow you to power through this.
Please don’t give up, please stay with us. Crisis of faith is a time of growth and it yields answers after the trial is over. You may feel as if you’re in the desert now, friend, but you’re not alone there.
We stand ready to listen to you, to share your pains.
Please don’t act on your thoughts. Put this noose away. Breathe. Slow down.
Your pain is so real and raw right now. But it also creates this tunnel vision that makes it impossible for anything good to make it through, to your heart. So please don’t act on this pain. It is not serving you. It is not showing you the truth. It is not showing you how you are really.
There is nothing that any of us do that couldn’t be replaced by 8 billion other people. But this is not about what we can do. This is about who we are. You mean the world to your kids. Their parent is not replaceable. You are not replaceable. The love that they have for you, that we have for you here as well, is not directed to anyone else but you.
We all crave for finding our purpose. We all fail and win at times. We’re all humans my friend. It is okay to place completely lost in this crazy thing called life. Let’s keep trying. Together. We are in this together, even when it feels like God forgot us for a very long time.
We can endure yet love together. There is more to this life, my friend. Your faith might have been shattered for many valid reasons, and trust me I feel that with all my heart as I am pretty upset with God too. But I have faith in you right now.
Let the pain flow, let it go. Don’t give up on yourself. Hold on to us.
I just want you to know that you are so important… and I wish that you could focus on something good about yourself. Trust me … we ALL have good inside us … it flows from deep within … you must try to understand “GOD” flows from within us all… Man’s interpretation of it varies. The main point I’m trying to make is, you are here on purpose to enjoy this very moment … and every other moment you get to be in. It’s supposed to be gift to us all to be here… I know sometimes it seems hectic and impossible… but that’s how we learn why it’s so important to be here… I hope so much that the healing light fills you up and makes you giggle and dance and love yourself like you are meant to! Then you can share that love with anyone you come in contact with … then you will understand “GOD” and be so happy within my friend… I hope this helps … and I really am rooting for you and your happiness! Much love and light to you !
I’m such a loser. I put that noose around my neck every night for 3 days and really wanted to jump off the ledge but got too scared. I already regret not being bold enough, I want nothing more than to be dead. I just can’t trust God! I’ve needed him more than ever for the last 5 years, and have never felt so alone. Gods word can tell us he’s with us but if we can’t feel or see him words mean nothing.
My wife has been so mean and rude to me and the girls. The only person she doesn’t treat like garbage is the “baby boy”. What can I do to just get the courage to jump? Please let me put my gun back in my mouth and pull the trigger and finally succeed at something. I’ve needed someone and no one is here. I don’t feel connection online and as I said before if I do get the courage to end it all no one anywhere will care or even remember within a week, my life is so worthless.
have you considered going to family therapy? It sounds like you’re having a hard time communicating with your wife. There are always other things you can try. Could you try to look for God in other ways - His voice is felt in music, in art, in creative ventures, in nature.
If you expand what you think is the method you will hear/feel God, it’ll open up your heart to the beauty of the world, and remind you of your place in it. Your kids need their parent, and you deserve to feel more peaceful and calm.
I’m sorry that you have been treated in a wrong way by people around you. That is not fair. Though it is not the reflection of who you are. You deserve respect and your life is too precious to be thrown away, friend. Your children need their dad. And for you, there can be more to this. A possibility to find peace and healing without hurting yourself nor disappearing.
Please use the energy you find in these moments of despair to actually reach out to someone who could support you practically. You are hurting and you don’t deserve to carry this burden alone. We care about you here. It may not be felt because online interactions are what they are, but I can assure you that we are a bunch of real human beings genuinely wanting the best for you.
Throw this noose away, friend. There are other ways to address the things that are hurting you right now, even if you don’t see it at the moment. That’s why you are here. That’s why we are here. Let’s figure this all out together, little by little.
If you also read this and are still considering the thought of hurting yourself tonight, please reach out to crisis lines as well. You don’t have to go through this alone.
You are loved so much. And if I surely can’t speak for others or even God, I can speak for myself. And I care about you. Please stay with us.
