I can walk the halls with the biggest heart, I’m always there for everyone, and one is there for me. not even on here. I’m sick of being there for people that just lie to me. I can’t just walk away from it either. It’s everywhere. I had someone falk mental illnesses just for attention. Someone told me all about her boyfriend and turned him to the bad guy, but in all honesty, it was her fault. She manipulated him. I yelled at an innocent man because of being manipulated. People want me to be this person that is so kind, nice, and loveable, but how can I do that if everyone I know miss treats me? I can’t be myself because of my mom, I can’t trust ANY of my parents, and no one that I’m “there for” is there for me. I messed up one of my only friendships that were true today. I can’t keep anything sacred. I’m just meant to be used by everyone. I wasn’t meant to be here. I never was. I’m just a rag doll that was ment for a life time of abuse and manipulation.
Firstly, I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been mis treated and manipulated, that is never a nice experience to have to go through. The problem when you are kind hearted and looking out for everyone is that it’s easy to forget to look out for yourself! If you are there for people, it takes energy to keep doing that and as that energy is sapped more and more, by the time you get round to doing something for you, your tank is empty and you are mentally exhausted! You should be proud of the fact that you have a big heart and want to be there for people, it’s a genuinely fantastic quality to have. But please remember to take some time (even if it is just 20 minutes) each day to take care of you and do something to recharge your social batteries! Also, don’t let anyone take advantage of your kind nature, it isn’t being selfish if you need to put yourself first at times, I think we all need that sometimes.