Why Am I Here?

I’m never gonna live up to my parent’s expectations. I want to commit suicide. I think that I’ve had depression ever since I was six. If you’ve seen me, you’ll realize that I’m pathetic. I deserve to die. I give up. I will WILLINGLY GET UP RIGHT NOW, TAKE A KNIFE FROM THE KITCHEN, AND SEE HOW MY DAD LOOKS AT ME IN HORROR, BLOOD DRIPPING FROM MY CHEST, NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD. I always thought my parents didn’t love me. I would dream of dying and there would be no crying from my parents. No one caring except my friends and siblings. They seem more like family now. I told my parents I had depression, but things are still the same. My parents yelling at me, and getting mad at me. The only thing that changed, is that everything is going downhill now, even faster. Who’s a bench, me. Who’s an ashhole, me. Who’s a motherforking piece of shirt, me. Keep in mind I’m a 6th grader who’s parents are moving me to another school because of a piece of algebra homework that I have been doing for the last SEMESTER DAD, and that school has my EX-FRIEND/ENEMY, OK? My dad is even suggesting that my friend doesn’t care about me. Not ex-friend, which I told him about a MILLION TIMES. Sorry, I just, I just… am going through a lot. I’m more self-conscious about everything. If there anyone there that is reading this thank you. But I might not be alive by the time you read this.

Please, don’t do it! I know that life is hard sometimes and you’re going through a lot. But there must be more in life, please let it be more! I know how it is to be in that dark tunnel where it seems that the light will never appear. But there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Please, stay alive! You are here for a reason. I’m sure that your parents love you even if it seems like they don’t. If not for your parents than stay alive for your siblings and friends! You are loved! Keep going! We are here for you. Please, let me know that you are here. I don’t want you to die

You are not pathetic and you do NOT deserve to die. You are a beautiful wonderful human being who is going through a horribly painful time. The pain is real but you can get through it. Tell yourself that today is not the day. Live to get through today. Sometimes we need to choose one moment at a time to not harm ourselves, not go off the deep end. But keep putting one foot in front of the other. You are not any of those horrible names. You are a beautiful soul.

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