Why am i not enough

[Zac-The-Pansexual]

Ever since my opa got lung cancer and died my Oma has treated me horribly. It hurts alot. She won’t let me wear anything smaller than a t-shirt and shorts cause she says “I don’t have the body for it.” Basically she’s saying I’m fat. She gets mad at me when I don’t wanna go outside, because outside is hot and humid and sticky and i hate it. She thinks my anxiety disorder is fake, when I’m diagnosed with it. When ever I get angry and stand up to her, she cries and says “You weren’t like this when you were younger,” and then proceeds to make me seem like the bad guy. I’ve thought about suicide and running away multiple times. But as a young woman it’s dangerous to go out alone. I feel like a screw-up since everything i do isn’t correct according to my oma

It just hurts

[fiji]

Hi friend,
I am glad to came here and shared what’s going on.

I am so sorry about what is going on, it sounds like you have to deal with a lot.

I hope you know that you are beautiful, no matter what other people say about you, even if it is family, because they should be the ones building you up, and not tear you down.

I believe that your anxiety is very real, and you are not alone with it. If you ever want to talk, this community got your back, and feel free to shoot me a message.

Life is tough, especially when you are in an environment that is not supporting you.

You are not a screw up. I 100% truly believe that.
We all make mistakes, but you are not failing. you are fighting and i am so proud of you for that!

You came to the right place. you are not alone. We are here to stand with you.

[Micro]

I’m so sorry your grandma makes you feel like what you do or say is never enough. You are enough as you are. And your anxiety is not fake at all.

The situation you’re in, with the disappearance of your grandpa, sounds to be really heavy. When we are grieving someone while living with other people, it can affect our reactions, and our relationships. You shouldn’t be treated by like this. There should be a lot of support and compassion. A least to heal together.

If sometimes the situation gets really rough, if you struggle with suicidal thoughts, please never hesitate to call a crisis line. You’d only be listened and understood by people you’d be talking too. If you ever need to get things off your chest, this community is a safe place too.

You’re truly beautiful as you are. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s about the current circumstances in your life. Not you as a person.

Echoing with fiji: you are not alone. You matter. What you’re going through and what you’re feeling matters.