Why am I such a freaking failure?

So I’ve been struggling a lot with depression lately. I’m a 24 year old art graduate, and I feel completely worthless and alone. The few people I’m close to are family, and they have there own burdens and mental health problems, so I can’t bring myself to fully talk to them about my feelings, because I don’t want to add to their troubles. I feel like a complete failure due to the fact that I’m stuck in a crappy retail job, and I don’t even make enough to live on my own, so I still live with my mother. I’ve never been in a serious relationship, and I’m too self conscious and uncomfortable to try to go meet people. The few non-family friends I did have quit talking to me after they moved to a different area, I’d even try contacting them and would get left on read. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, or why I’m so unlikable and awkward, but honestly it’s getting to where I’m constantly thinking about it and i just don’t know what to do anymore…

Hello and welcome!

I am sorry you are going through such a hard time. I can relate. At your age I was also living at home cause I couldn’t afford to move out. I found that all my college friends just disapeared and wouldn’t respond to me. I am a theatre major… So I know the retail and odd job life very well.

I had to work hard to find a new group to hang with. And it definitely could be discouraging at times. But don’t give up! Just because you are in search of a friend group doesn’t mean that you aren’t cool or a great person. It just sometimes takes time. And then moving (I moved far away) you feel like you have to start over.

What helped me at one time was joining a Meetup group. One that meets in public and safe spaces. Also volunteering in a field you like can help connect you with people outside of work. Finding friends gets harder as adults. We aren’t in school all day and we are all I different stages of life. But you will find people. Be patient (though it is super hard) Find time to do things you love.