I always have these spurts of just going crazy and getting black out drunk or using other substance once I start getting stressed. I wasted my time and money yesterday being out until 4 am and making a fool of myself even though I’m already short on rent I’m still willing to put myself down farther. I’m constantly hurting my girlfriend and missing work. I have no one to talk to I’m hopeless
Sounds like your inner hurt is making you hurt yourself and the ones around you. The repeating cycle of destruction is brutal, especially if one feels they deserve it. Break the cycle of insanity…talk to someone new (or old) and try something different and uncomfortable. Just do it.