Why can’t i love anymore

I know i’m young and you’ll probably think I don’t know what love is and you’re half right. I don’t know what true love is and what relationship type love feels like but I know what it’s like to truly love a friend and that’s what i’m here about. I let myself love one person and that hurt so much when they left that I told myself I wouldn’t get close to anybody like that again (opening up about my mental health or anything in my life at all) and I havent yet. I almost did, I tried to, but I beat myself up about it and feel bad for even trying to burden them with that responsibility… especially when everyone has their own issues. God, somebody could love me to a point of dying for me and I wouldn’t care at all about them. Why is that? What’s wrong with me? What is so broken about me that I can’t love anybody or care for them no matter how much I want to? I feel crazy… Why do I have so much wrong with me? What did I do for this? I just want to love and to be loved…

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Hi @echo,

I am here to say that it is okay to talk about your feelings. You said “everyone has their own issues” and you are absolutely right. But that doesn’t mean your issues are invalid or insignificant. It is OKAY to open up to somebody. It is OKAY to talk about your mental health. I feel like more often than not mental health gets swept under the rug like it isn’t a big issue when in fact it very much is.
You are filled with greatness.
You DO have the ability to love. Maybe this is something that just needs some time.
That rule you put on yourself to not let yourself get close to anybody like that again is harsh. This is you beating yourself up for being hurt so badly. I understand this. Please don’t blame yourself because you allowed yourself to love this person.
Life is filled with unexpected twist and turns and the ending of a friendship was one of them. One door closes and another one opens. Something ends but always something new begins.
I know it hurts so bad to lose someone you truly love. It is never easy to get over that. But you have your entire life to explore and experience. You will realize one day that this has made you stronger. And you will also hold the gift of love, to give and receive. Let yourself do that.
You are not broken. You are absolutely wonderful and deserve such greatness in your life.
Please keep your head up as you are not finished living your life but progressing with caution. God will not give you something that you cannot handle!
sending much positivity and love your way