I have been fine lately then all this anxiety comes and kills my whole entire mood but i also believe its the people around me like my so called “bestfriend” she hasnt been supportive and well yes i dropped her but i just couldn’t handle the bull.
i believe im in love with this guy but here i am thinking he will never love me or im not good enough he is going to leave even when he told me he loves me i just… to many people have left my life i just know what happens.
the guilt to want to feel the blade kills me but i just cant hold it. im sad for no given reason i dont know why im sad
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Hey friend,
I’m really sorry to hear that your having a really rough time.
Anxiety sucks, but eventually you will learn to grow and not let it take over, it’s hard work but you will get there I know you can.
I’m sorry to hear that about your friend, don’t feel bad for dropping her, if you feel that was what you needed to do in order to move forward then I was the right thing to do for you.
You need to trust your boyfriend, if he’s telling you he loves you it’s because he loves you and you are worthy of that love.
People will come and go but the ones that fight to stay close are the ones you need to keep close.
You are loved friend,
Hold fast,
Luna 
️
Itsale. I get everything you are feeling. Im struggling with really similar things atm, fears of not being enough for this person I love. I try to focus on something I always remind myself of : If it happens, it does. If it doesnt, then it wasnt meant for you at this time.
Since I struggle with bpd (just recently got this info) I have a lot of fears of abandonment. In the end, I need to focus on grounding myself to things that I can lean on. Like this community. Feel free to reach out to me here if you need anything
Sending lots of love.
Pales
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I’ve dealt with a lot of these things. Breaking off relationships with people who are supposed be our friends but don’t support us at all. On the other hand feeling like I’m not good enough for the people who do. I don’t have friends that I’ve known for more than 2 years. Because people have either left me or I’ve pushed them away cause I don’t feel worth their time and effort. And I carry that fear, that expectation, that everyone else will leave too, with me all the time.
I just want you to notice, you say you’re “sad for no reason” after just stating you had to cut ties with your best friend. That’s not “no reason”. You lost someone who was a massive part of your life. That’s not easy and you’re allowed to feel sad about it even tho it was your own choice and better for you in the long run.
You’ll make it through. It’s a rough spot and it sucks, but you’re strong enough. Hold fast friend. <3
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Hi @Itsale
When I’m sad and I don’t know why, I often find it’s sadness disguising my feeling hopeless because there is something I am angry about but feel powerless to alter.
I scratched my sadness and found that underneath I was absolutely furious about some things AND I felt like those things would (and could) never change, and that made for utter despair.
I also felt like I personally wasn’t allowed to feel anger or that it was not safe for me to show anger, which made for another level of sadness that I wasn’t able to admit to myself, in a big circular mess.
I definitely agree with what was said on the stream about how the reasons for sadness can be hard to pinpoint, and how easy it is for sadness to get displaced, too.
It’s ok to feel sad even if you don’t know why.
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@Itsale Here is the video response from our Twitch stream today. I hope you find some encouragement here.
Hold Fast.
-Danjo
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@Itsale I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way but thank you for reaching out. I too struggle with note believing that people mean it when they say that they’re going to stay because they love me. Fear of abandonment is one of my biggest issues. However when something new like being shown love is introduced to us - I found out that it’s okay to not understand it until that person has stood by you through a time where most would leave. I spent so long fighting with the people that care about me and so long believing I wasn’t worthy of their love and that it was just a pity thing. But I see now that isn’t true. You can’t hold that blade because you’re holding onto something else with both hands, it’s time to try and find that thing.
Hold fast
Kayla
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@Itsale, it’s okay to fall down. We all do. Don’t blame yourself. It may feel like it’s all you, but it’s not. I believe in you. Don’t trust your thoughts that tell you you’re not good enough for him or that he’ll leave you. Listen to him, what does he think? Trust him, he won’t leave you. It’s terrible when people leave, but there’s nothing wrong with you. They don’t get what you are, and if they never will, who cares. It’s YOU whose opinion matters.
You are worth it.
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