Why did it have to happen to me

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There is this guy that I knew back in 2016. He treated me very well and liked me but I didn’t like him back then.

He contacted me again in 2018 and we started hanging out from February to April.

I felt comfortable around him and trusted him. I thought we were dating and had sex with him. And I asked what are we after it happened, he told me he really liked me back then in 2016 but now he just couldn’t give me an answer.

Yet, he refused to say he doesn’t like me.

So why did he used me? Was it for revenge? I told myself it’s my fault that I rejected him back then. And since things can’t work out now, I will move on instead.

Only to realized in May, when I stalked his Facebook and saw he posted his picture with his girlfriend. He already has a girlfriend when he did all that shit to me.

I became a third party just because I was dumb, I didn’t know what kind of a person he really was. I painted a picture of him in my head that doesn’t exist. (The gf doesn’t know my existence and I’m not sure if they are still tgt)

I cried so much because I felt like a fool, being deceived and used.

There were three times when I was drunk and I texted him and asked why he did that to me. He nevers reply.

I have moved on and doesn’t like him anymore. But that feeling of being lied to, deceived and used still lingers now. I’m always thinking why did it have to happen to me.

I developed phobia that every guy will be like hiim.

Right now I’m tearing as I pen down this, I’ve definitely gotten over him, but why am I crying still?

It’s just unfair that he gets to treat me this way and doesn’t feel guilty about it. I really hate him.

Thanks for reading. I’m sorry it’s just my useless ranting.

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Hi @darkness, rants help sometimes. Feel free to rant everywhere. I like hearing emotions. :slight_smile:
Maybe he did like you in 2018, but since he had his girlfriend, he couldn’t have you both. Still doesn’t mean what he did was acceptable. You have every right to hate him.

I think I understand where this is coming from. I used to be bullied when I was very young, and it was years ago yet I cry. I think its not really them anymore, just what they left behind. The pain they left behind in us. And I guess we cry because we’re sad it happened and disappointed in ourselves that we let it happen.

In all honesty, you don’t know for sure that he doesn’t feel guilty. We’re not all black and white. Maybe he does, and that’s why he never replies, because he doesn’t want to face it.
But it doesn’t matter. The past is the past and you should look to the future. It doesn’t mean you have to accept what happened, just that you keep moving on.
We all make mistakes. We’re human. It’s okay. You’re not alone, and you’re not a fool. There’s people in this world who deceive, and all we can do is just keep our heads high and keep marching on. I let myself be bullied, and I didn’t tell my parents or anyone about it. But who cares. It’s my life, and they don’t get a say in it anymore.
You have this fear now of other guys, but it’ll be okay. I believe that you can learn to move past it. Not everyone is like him, I promise. People don’t come the same, everyone is different.
Hold fast to hope my friend.
<3

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Hey, listen. You don’t deserve to be used like that. This mistreated you and you are so much better than that. The fact that he has a girlfriend makes it all the more disgusting. You have every right to be upset and to be mad at him. I would suggest just recognizing and accepting these feelings and then trying to move on. You can also tell his girlfriend if you see fit. Stay strong. I believe in you.