Back to heartsupport

Why do I fail at everything

I don’t know what to do my life has gone to crumbles, I lost my grandmother and my rabbit in the same month my dad become more emotionally abusive he would say things like useless,worthless,fat,I wanna put you up for adoption ect it feels like I can’t do anything now life has just became a useless thing that I take apart in i have all these memories from years ago and I can’t get a rid of it I don’t want them but they always come back


My heart goes out to you. Experiencing loss and emotional abuse at the same time is awful. A lot of those who are emotionally abusive are lashing out as a distraction from their own insecurity and self-contempt. Keep in mind, when he’s behaving that way, he’s expressing negative feelings, but not the truth. Emotional abuse has a lot to do with self-deception, as facing what they believe to be the truth about themselves, doesn’t seem like an option.

You do need some kind counseling and emotional support. I would bet my life that you don’t fail at everything. In fact, I doubt that you fail at most things.

Emotional abusers want your confidence to be as debilitated as theirs. Don’t fall for it! If you do fall for it, you are abusing yourself on their behalf. Don’t help him convince you that you are anything but a decent, competent human being.

Low self-esteem can cause perfectly wonderful people to fail. Having low self-esteem means you’ve made a habit of telling yourself untrue and negative things about yourself. Then, you lapse into patterns of behavior that fulfill your negative self expectations.

Please find some help! If you dial 211, they will steer you in the right direction.

You are a good person, who deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. No matter what happens, don’t forget that truth.

1 Like

Im so sorry about all of your losses. You aren’t worthless or useless and i hope that everything gets better for you soon.

What the hell kind of dad do you have!!?? That’s not even a real dad if he wishes you werent his son!! That is so cruel!! If all he cares about is how useful you are than hes the one whos useless. You are a person. You are not made to be used. Even if you are overwieght that does not mean you are trash. You are just mistreated. The ones mistreating you are the trash. It is unforgivalble.

I mean I see him as a nice dad but he has these mood swings where he will be nice then rude even tho I’m the right size conserving my age he will comment things like that I would conseirder him cruel because sometimes he can be so nice its just a never ending cycle

1 Like

I am impressed that you can see the good in him, even though he treats you badly at times. It sounds like he has mood swings, and quite possibly things that are bothering him that you won’t admit to. I just hope you can live with his bad days, without letting his behavior discourage you.