How to live when you want to die, have a lot of enemies, no achievement to feel good. Can’t share your struggle Because nobody understands. I’m an agnostic, so please don’t talk about God.
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I’m actually also agnostic. Would you feel comfortable sharing more?
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Hi. I am an angnostic too. (Agnostic/atheist) If you want to share more we will be here to listen. Do you feel missunderstood or shamed for your opinions? I think you might be in the wrong group of people. I think there are people who would be able to understand you. Try it. You might be surprised. Again we are here to listen ok 
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When you’re in a place where you just want to die, you’re surviving. In the darkest places, there is no light. There is no end of the suffering in sight. You feel completely alone with your struggles and think that no one would understand.
There are people who have been in those very dark places. They’ve found a way out of it. They started to walk, to take one tiny step at a time, everyone at their own pace. The hardest part is to get on a way, no matter what that looks like, to keep going even though you don’t have any guarantee it will get any better, even though you don’t see any light at all, even though you feel lost and you feel like you’re drowning in your pain. There is a way out of it and you are the reason to start walking. Your achievements don’t define you. They can never make you feel fulfilled. That will come from within.
How can your next steps look like? Could you reach out to find professional support that would guide you through these dark times? Can you imagine calling a crisis hotline? People there know about local services in your area and what steps you could take next.
You are not alone with your struggles. We don’t share the same stories but we do share the same feelings, the pain, and we understand the hopelessness. You are loved and you matter. You are worth fighting your way out of the darkness. It won’t be like this forever. Thank you for reaching out here and trusting us with how you feel. That’s already been your first step. 
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Find the small moments and create/appreciate the beauty of it. A pretty sunset can lift my mood just because it takes me away from the me-ness for a second. Looking up at a starry night sky and reveling in my tiny spot in a huge universe is comforting because as painful or pointless things might be for me right now, the expansive sky tells me that there is more mystery and wonder in this world than my brain knows, that there is no mistake because this huge universe is. Complex unified energy system, and the energy I contribute to it is impactful.
If I can make another person laugh, I create positive pyshcic energy. If I can help someone logic their situation a bit differently, I’m helping the overall system by helping the tiny tiny spokes.
The meaning and purpose are to be n agent of kindness because if all we are at the end are a bunch of energy in a fleshy outfit, might as well try to get the other fleshy outifts to feel better when they’re around us, and that starts by liking ourselves.
We are here to listen. Everyone is non their own journey but we’re here to say that we can park the vehicles and share the snacks. You’re not alone, while we may not knowbthe specifics of what you’re dealing with, we do care about YOU.
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I am a agnostic as well .
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My struggle is a weird one. It involves supernatural stuff, hypnosis, nasty sexual molestation, wrong psychiatric medication etc. And in the end , as an agnostic, I don’t even understand what I went through. I just wanna say that no religion ever knew anything about existence. Everything told by them is just a guess. There’s no god.and I don’t say this because I’m sad, I’m saying this because I read books of physics and philosophy to get answers and therefore I know that we don’t know anything.
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It’s great because it’s so satisfying to know that nobody knows anything.
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You said what my heart says. Your reply itself is a therapy.
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You’re right, achievement doesn’t alone make us feel full. I hope I learn this ASAP. Thankyou so much
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Hey ashwell, I’m new to this place, and I can’t tell you how surprised I am with so many people caring for one another here. I think soon I’ll be having a huge community by my side who’ll understand me. Thankyou so much for understanding me so perfectly.
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I agree, that it is so satisfying that no one knows anything and everything because if we knew everything then life would be absolutely pointless.
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I am glad you have found a liking to this place . I am sorry that you had to do through the things you did. A lot of us here went through some bad things so we will be here to listen and we wount judge ok. 
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