I really don’t know how to start this, I don’t really talk about my feelings.
I don’t feel smart. I mean logically I should, I have good grades and I get lots of compliments! But I can’t help but look at how much better my peers are, no matter what I do it always feels like the playing board isn’t even. Maybe it’s all in my mind but in my mind they are my superiors.
Sometimes I cry for hours because I’m not pretty enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not good enough. I feel bad for my parents for having such a disappointment of a child. It doesn’t help that my brother tells me that I’m ugly and stupid, I know he’s joking but it still hurts.
I want help, I don’t want to feel this way anymore but I don’t want to face someone I care about just to worry them and waste their time. I don’t want to talk to my parents and waste their time. My brother wouldn’t care, he tells me everyday he doesn’t love me. I don’t want my friends to worry. I don’t want the counselor to sit me down and tell me why I’m okay.
Honestly I don’t want to talk to anyone face to face, it’ll just make me sadder then I already am. So I am here to tell random people online why I’m not good enough.
Sorry for any grammar mistakes or anything else , this is my first time using this website.