Why is everyone better then me?

I really don’t know how to start this, I don’t really talk about my feelings.

I don’t feel smart. I mean logically I should, I have good grades and I get lots of compliments! But I can’t help but look at how much better my peers are, no matter what I do it always feels like the playing board isn’t even. Maybe it’s all in my mind but in my mind they are my superiors.

Sometimes I cry for hours because I’m not pretty enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not good enough. I feel bad for my parents for having such a disappointment of a child. It doesn’t help that my brother tells me that I’m ugly and stupid, I know he’s joking but it still hurts.

I want help, I don’t want to feel this way anymore but I don’t want to face someone I care about just to worry them and waste their time. I don’t want to talk to my parents and waste their time. My brother wouldn’t care, he tells me everyday he doesn’t love me. I don’t want my friends to worry. I don’t want the counselor to sit me down and tell me why I’m okay.

Honestly I don’t want to talk to anyone face to face, it’ll just make me sadder then I already am. So I am here to tell random people online why I’m not good enough.

Sorry for any grammar mistakes or anything else , this is my first time using this website.

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@TrulyAtree, thank you for posting and being honest about everything you are thinking about yourself right now. I am sorry that you don’t believe you are enough right now. I assure you that couldn’t be further from the truth.

None of what you do, how you look, or what people say about you gives your life any more or less value. That fact is that you are enough just being you, you are here and that alone gives you worth.

I’m sorry that you don’t feel you have a safe environment to open up in right now, but have you tried opening up to your parents? Has your school counselor already written you off or are you assuming they will? In any case, I would encourage you to check out the HeartSupport resources page here: https://heartsupport.com/resources/
Please check it out and see if there are any resources there that you think would be beneficial to you. If you’d like any of the work books but think you might have a hard time getting a hold of one, please reach out to me.

Welcome to the community, hold fast.

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