Why is everything so hard

I feel so hateful and lost. I don’t know why I feel so hurt all of a sudden. I want to disappear in a quiet peaceful place. I just feel depressed and I can think of several reasons. My family seems to be sort of suspended, waiting for my father to get out of his stupid affair or until Feb 20 when we talk to him. My sister told me I haven’t changed in 3 years, I’m still upset over something that I should’ve gotten over by now. This isn’t who I want to be. I have a friend, and it seems so hard to talk to her. To talk openly and just have a conversation with anyone. I’m sad. I feel alone. I feel disappointed inside. I miss our family road trips, I’m travelsick. I miss the sights, the favorite places. I don’t belong.
People are hard. I just want to be myself. I want to be able to not care and be happy. I feel so awkward and stupid all the time. I feel like I’m losing my mind.
I feel so alone, like people are slipping away.
I just don’t know what to do anymore, maybe I never did.
I can’t help anyone

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Hey Friend,

Thank you for sharing this here and being so honest. I know how hard it is to reach out. Know that you are so strong for doing so. It sounds like there’s a lot going on with your family and that a lot has changed. It’s very understandable to miss the way things used to be.

You mentioned not being over something that you should’ve been over by now. I want you to know that you don’t have to get over something in a certain amount of time. Everyone heals at a different pace. So know that your feelings are valid. I know it’s hard to be yourself. It’s a scary thing to do. But just by reaching out despite it being so difficult to, shows me how strong you are. It’s because of that, that I know you’ll be able to fight and become the person you want to be. You are so loved and valued. We believe in you friend.

Hold Fast,
Hannah Rhodes

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thank you so much Bvlover16,

for having the courage to voice what you are going though. We love and hear you friend. I’m sorry that you are in a rough place with your family and friends. sometime there is seasons were we have better community around us there other times but you are not alone. Be patient with yourself there is no time line for getting over things and that’s ok. Please hold on you are strong and can make it through this. you have this whole community here to support you.

Know you are Loved,