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Why is it so hard to forgive myself


#1

So quit drinking cons turkey last July however I’m still drowning I feel like and I can explain till I can’t speak but no one understands me my band I was in fell apart and people i thought were my friend were fake what’s haunting my more then anything is a couple years ago I had quit drinking and my girlfriend at the time told me I was so uptight so I started Again and in a black out I was telling my friend I loved her in reality she was someone I should had been with and i was wrong but I dream of that ex atleast once a week it’s like im tormented and eaten alive with Shame as well as finding out my father is not my biological father and I’ll never know why he is because my mother was a prostitute when she got pregnant with me I find all this out at 31 years old


#2

Hi, friend. Sounds like you have a lot going on. I don’t have all the answers, but I wanted you to know that someone sees you. I see you here and I see that you are hurting. I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be going through what you are right now, but I wanted to extend some love your way.

I hope that you are able to find some peace and resolve. And that you find something comforting and gentle to turn to and help you through this.

Someone is here caring.

Much love to you, friend. :heart:


#3

Maybe what she calls “uptight” ios just you being “guarded”. Just because your Father was a shithead and irresponsible doesn’t mean you are. You shouldn’t want someone like that as your Father and he isn’t.
You mentioned that your Father isn’t your biological father. I say so what. He is apparently the guy in your life right? He cares for you and treats you like his son right? That makes him your Father not they guy that the only thing he contributed was a small piece of your DNA.

Love yourself. You’re worthy.