In this video, Dan talks to a Support Wall user who thinks that suicide might be a good choice to make:
If you have ever done something harmful to yourself to escape pain, welcome. You are indeed a human being. Pain and its effects are a part of life, and all of us experience it most days. If you’re living today, it means you’re doing so in defiance of the pain in your life - congratulations. You are here!
Dan begins his response to the user by thanking them. He recognizes that it took courage to post on the Support Wall. Even if this is a non judgmental place full of helpful people, posting about self harm or suicide can feel very vulnerable.
Like the user says, sometimes it can very much feel like no ones cares about us. It can feel like there aren’t many good reasons to live, or that nothing can feel worse than you already do. Many of these feelings come down to “If-Then” statements. Here are some below:
“If things stay the way they are today…”
“If I have to try this whole thing again…”
“If I’m going to fail anyways…”
“If I’m never going to be loved…”
“If I’m always going to feel this lonely, this sad, this empty, this hopeless…”
“If my life is always going to be this painful…”
… Then there’s no point in living anymore
Here at HeartSupport today, we want to challenge those ifs. They’re not true.
What if that’s not the way things are always going to be?
What if one day soon all the pain you’re feeling will have a purpose?
What if a year from now, two years from now, you’re at the best place you’ve ever been?
What if you stick this through and your dreams come to life?
What if things just don’t always stay this bad?
In Nate’s blog here, he talks on how self-harm or suicide can feel like it makes sense, and why you still shouldn’t do it. He reminds us all that even if every day we go outside and see rain clouds, there is a blue sky just behind them. The storm will pass.
- Have you ever felt so much pain that you resorted to other harmful activities to try and make it go away?
- What’s your If___then statement for seeking a way out? (For example: If I don’t have any friends, then how will I ever find love anyway?
- Write out the remainder of that sentence for yourself. Use that to fuel your hope, because it’s true.