Why work so hard to be ignored or discarded?

I have been working at the same company for 5 yrs, I have won awards on what great work I am doing but I have to fight and fight to do my job. These 3 men instead of including me in the project at hand, they go behind my back and make decisions on what I should be doing. It is all the way up to the Management doing this. They are not my boss yet they feel them can tell me what to do and how to do it. I have been doing this for over 25 yrs, it is not my first time. They ignore me, make decisions for me and don’t include me. I have brought this up to the big manager but she is so nice to everyone ,“Oh it must have been just a misunderstanding” that was 20-25 issues ago… it is not a misunderstanding they do it on purpose . I am crying trying to do my job!!! I cant deal with this anymore…


It’s time to look for a new job where you and your long history of experience are respected. After 5 years with the same company you should be getting promoted, not treated like a child, especially with 20-25 years of experience in your field. I believe that no company has your best interests at heart; they are looking out for what good you can do the company. It’s up to you to look after your well-being and make sure you’re in the best possible situation, and it’s really empowering to realize that you can control your career that way. I’ve known way too many people who are miserable at jobs they’ve been working a long time, and I know still more who got fired or laid off and said it was the best thing that ever happened to them.

Luckily you currently have a job, that gives you the luxury of time and the ability to be choosy about where you go to work next. Freshen up your resume and LinkedIn profile and start applying. DM me if you want networking and resume writing tips, that was about the most useful thing I learned in college.


Hey there and welcome to HeartSupport!

Sorry to hear about your office situation—that really sucks. I’ve had to put up with people who had similar attitudes and I can relate how frustrating it must be to feel like the people who are supposed to be on your side always find ways to undermine your contributions or skillset.

I find it unacceptable that your big manager won’t help you!!! Like the other person said, I think it’s about time you consider looking for other places where you and your work are appreciated. You deserve better than this!

Hang in there!

  • Brian

Hey @kitties55555,

I’m really sorry to hear about how they treat you at your workplace. You accomplished so much and involved yourself a lot in it, yet it sounds that it’s not even recognized by your boss. It frustrates me to hear about those management procedures with self-called “experts” who doesn’t have an ounce of awareness about how a company works practically…

Sounds that you can’t control what’s going on in your environment, but at least you still have the power to change your orientation or look for another place to work. It’s unfortunate, but I can only echo our friends here on this matter. You said you’re crying doing your job… then that’s enough. There’s no job on earth that would be worth to lose your health.

If you can, maybe try to ask for a medical leave. How you feel right now makes it obvious that it would be 100% legitimate to do it. It could help you to take some rest and start looking for another job. To prepare a transition without being unsafe financially, but also to stay away from the pressure of your current job.

I’d definitely recommend you to talk with @SheetMetalHead as well, as they proposed to help and are genuinely good at it.

Hold fast. :heart:

1 Like

Man. I am so sorry that you are dealing with that. I would have a hard time with people doing that to me as well. Do you think maybe trying to talk to your managers again would be worth it? I know you already did it once, but maybe if you gently approach it and gently express how it makes you feel, something can be worked out.

Sending you love. I can only imagine how frustrating that must be for you.

  • Kitty

Thank you all for your kind words… Made me realize it is time to find a place my efforts with be accepted… I will have to wait till this virus scare is over but it has to be a goal… I have good days but then the bad days come in and I feel so used and unappreciated… It has been ok for 2 weeks and then that man at work did it again… Went behind my back spoke to Steve the manager and changed the process I had put in place weeks before… he didn’t like how I set it up and has been going to 3-4 other people trying to get it changed… he found one and changed the process I had for my team… He is in a different department and should not be in my business but management allows it… Deep breath and wait for this scare to pass then start looking for a new job…


Hey @kitties55555,

Thank you for giving some updates about your situation!

Yea… unfortunately this kind of circle/situation can repeat itself again and again… And with this covid situation it delays a bit your projects. I hope the next weeks will go as smooth as possible for you though. Take care of yourself, as much as needed, as much as possible.

It’s uncomfortable to go into this kind of transition, but it’s really a healthy decision. You deserve to be respected and see your efforts being recognized. If you ever need to talk during this process, to vent, connect with others, don’t hesitate to join the HS Discord: https://discord.gg/Ng7s3M.

Take care, friend. You’re much appreciated. :heart: