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Wife is distant from me and is talking to another guy


#1

I have posted about this before. I have been pretty absent and selfish in my marriage and my wife said the word separate to me about a week ago. Things have been very hard for me. I love my wife and have made strides and changes in my daily routines to impact my life in a positive way and to show her that I can change and am worth fighting for. But she continues to confide and talk to this kid that I’ve helped in years past with the youth. We are both 30 and he is 19 but she keeps talking to him in our hard times and it’s killing me inside. I can’t stand the thought of them talking and she doesn’t feel close enough to me. These ten hour workdays with not a whole lot going on to help distract me from the current state of our relationship is becoming too much to bear. I have talked once with a therapist but my next meeting is on the 22nd unless a cancellation comes up. I don’t want to lose my wife but I also want her to stop talking to this guy and every time I bring up stopping what she’s doing she comes to tears and says that she can’t. And it makes me think dark thoughts about giving up. I don’t want to give up on life or her. I want to fight for her and for our relationship and I just feel that she doesn’t share those feelings and it’s killing my every minute of every day.


#2

@FangedToast, my situation is kind of quite the opposite. My father’s in an affair with my oldest sister’s ex-friend and I’m very angry and upset with him. I have listened for many nights the arguments my mom and dad get into about this subject.
Make your thoughts known, and tell your wife straight out how you feel. Don’t let her completely forget about you, and of course spend some time with her. Let her know she can talk to you. Don’t give her an ultimatium until you are absolutely sure you cannot handle it anymore or until it goes on too long. Do not let it go on long, or else it’ll get harder.
Meanwhile, try to hold on and don’t change yourself to get her back. I wish you luck and hopefully this helps.
Hold Fast


#3

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#4

Thanks for the post and the words of support it means a lot to me in this moment. I am seeking help with my therapist and other family close to me.