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Will this disease be the end of me

I been thinking end my life, when my parents pass away. They only reason why I should be alive, and cant let suffer my illness. I will try my very best to be there for them. But I dont want to live pass 70 or earlier. I dont have mental strengh to even pay my bill or be an actully adult. My dad worries about that I wont make in this life.

Im been pretty a fuck up my whole life, I did not do anything with my degree, every band that I have in has fail and Im still mental abuse person. That part I never change and that why I dont want to start a family on my own.No matter how my prays or medition that side of me will always be there. I try meds and cbd it still is not enough at times. Im the weakness link that meant to be hated and look down.

It too bad im not brave enough to do it, but I know Im must stay alive for my parents. After that I plan just buy a posion, drive to my beach house, drink one more blue moon and just die at beach that fell love with. I wish I could have the strenght to do and I feel weak of having those feelings.

I feel like the brave part is staying alive sometimes. I don’t know your situation, but I’m here to listen if you want to share more.

I’m not sure of your location or needs, so here are some things that might help you: Suicide Lifeline in the US: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) ><><>< Transgender Lifeline: US: 877-565-8860 | Canada: 877-330-6366 ><><>< International: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines ><><>< To text a trained Crisis Counselor, text HOME 741741 ><><>< It is NEVER too late

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Hi friend. I think I just commented on another post of yours. I am sorry that you are having so many things that you are struggling with. Do you think that maybe it would be worth trying to reach out to a therapist to help you talk out these things that you are feeling? I know that therapy isn’t for everyone and is not always affordable. Like me. I can’t pay for it. But if you are able to, do you think that it would be worth having that safe place to talk about these things? If not, that’s okay. I totally understand.

I just feel really bad that you are carrying so much hurt on your shoulders. And don’t want to see you having to fight through that all by yourself.

@MommaFoxFire left a crists hotline there for you. Please don’t ever be afraid to use these numbers if you feel like you are in a really bad place. They will help you. It’s a safe place to discuss with what you are facing and maybe they can help you find resources.

You are so important my friend. Even if you have a lot of things that you are struggling with right now. That doesn’t take away from your value and the validation of your feelings. I hope that you are able to find something or someone that can bring you peace and comfort and help you through all of this. Because you MATTER.

Stay strong

  • Kitty
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Hey Seimiccoyne,

i have to say, i know what you feel, for many years.

I dont have any friends, i have problems to connect with people, i hate my job and many other things.

Very often i think, the only reason to stay alive is for my partens.

But, there is more. That you are here, that you life, is a someting from your partens for you.
You have the change, to life your own life.

I realized that and tried to find things, i’m interessted in, that show my, that this life is good to life.

And i hope, you will find good things, too.

you are here in a safe place and you’re welcome.

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