I had that experience more than once. I’ve always been very critical about myself, the way I look and behave.
“You’re really ugly.”
“You are fat.”
“Attention seeking.”
“Shut up for once.”
“You’re annoying.”
“No one cares.”
“My parents don’t think we should be friends.”
“They hate you.”
“Shame on you.”
“It’s a phase.”
“I don’t know you.”
“I don’t need you. I have ____ and ____.”
“Kill yourself.”
I wish I just could forget ever hearing these things, but they have been burned into my brain and I can’t seem to let them go.
I know it’s hard and it doesn’t seem like it will help, but know that you are loved. You are beautiful. You are created for a purpose.
Repeated phrases re-wire our brains so it makes sense that if these things that hurt you won’t go away, it’s because they keep playing like a song on repeat.
Try to find ways to surround yourself with repeated positive words.
Here for you, friend.
Words can indeed hurt, but they can also water dry ground and create life and heal.
High school is a terrible, awful place for the people who aren’t bright shiny fucking rays of sunshine. Those words are not trivial, and they will shape how you see yourself in the future.
What may be good now is you have a therapist, even if your parents are bound and determined to undermine your therapy. Maybe if you address this now, the future impact will be lessened.
Meanwhile, whatever time you have in school will feel like an eternity and I’m not going to sugarcoat that, but it does get better in the real world. Ask anyone on here, and we’d probably all tell you we wouldn’t go back to high school for any amount of money. In the meantime, just find a way to survive.
When you leave the cinderblock prison behind, you’ll find a world where nobody knows you enough to compare you to others. Every person you meet is a fresh chance to forge a connection, and if the encounter doesn’t go well you can leave them behind for good. You will be free to be who you are. You don’t have to listen to your parents telling you that you aren’t enough. You can choose new friends based on their merits, rather than just because they’re in the same building with you. That doesn’t mean you won’t be hurt, everyone on this forum has been kicked around, but when you leave high school you won’t be subjected to the stale routine of the same people putting you down day after day.
Words can hurt, indeed. They are true weapons - for the best, or the worst.
I’m sorry you were told so many awful things. No one should be told such things. Deep inside you know that none of this is true or loving, but it doesn’t hurt any less - you are right. It might take some time to fight against those lies and let them go. What people told you doesn’t have to condition the way you see yourself or live your life. You’ll learn to let those words go away, friend. To see them as empty words and not worthy of your heart, your energy. But healing takes time, and letting go is a process in itself.
I agree with @Thomohawk - positive affirmations from yourself or people around you can also be a real strength to counteract the pain that hurtful words created in your heart. For me personally, just being here in this community, journaling and following accounts on social medias that spread thoughtful affirmations has been very helpful. I still beat myself up with words that others used against me, but I’m also more willing to find some clarity and identify what is true or not.
You are not doomed because of those words. You are unique. You are worthy of love, care and respect. You matter. You are beautiful as you are. You are so loved right here and right now. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being.
I’ve heard a lot of these things recently. I feel the same way. I sometimes wonder if I should be here or not. We have to be strong and hold on. We will find a way to get out of all of these. I’m right here with you
