So here it goes. I found out a lot of things at work today
- my manager wasn’t being too nice when I was struggling with getting a dog done. She was getting mad and stressed with me. 2) I found out. My coworker was told not to tell me she’s going to be making commission faster then me in fear it would hurt my feelings. 3) I don’t know if I’ll be making commission at all (my end goal ya know. As a dog groomer) and 4) if I’m a burden to my manager to train
On top of that my great grandmother just died and my “best friend” yelled at me for 2 hours on how much of a crappy person I am
So that’s been my life. I’ve been tempted to start self harming again and I don’t want to go down that path but that’s now I feel my pain would end
Man, that really bites…feels like there’s so much outside of your control at work, and you’ve got no idea how to manage it well…you were so excited about the promise of this job, but it feels like some of the things you were excited about were just wisps, or fake promises. To feel like your boss / coworkers are colluding against you, when you felt like you were promised to be supported, or at least assumed you would be…man, just sucks. Feels like you don’t know who to trust or what to expect, and it gives you tons of anxiety being so uncertain and out of control of what happens…
and then for your best friend to flip, feels like you lost your core pillar of support – not permanently, but at least not right now in this moment where you’re feeling super stressed – and it feels like when that used to happen, the only place you had to turn was to self-harm…which, I’m so glad that you turned and posted here, because even if it’s not a permanent solution, you did reach out, you got out of isolation, you got your thoughts on paper, and you gave yourself a chance to walk a healthier path, and I’m super proud of that. Good work fluffy!
Couple thoughts…1) you’re not a crappy person, you’re consistently trying your best, and I like that, 2) work will probably get better, and if not, you have what it takes to find another job…you’re not totally out of control, and you’re not out of control of your attitude, which can be something you focus on instead of focusing on what you can or can’t do about them, and 3) you’re not alone…man, we all go through these little spells where we feel like everything we’ve tried for is coming crashing down, and you are certainly not alone in that, friend. <3
Thanks for reaching out. I am glad you did 
Yeah Fluffy that sux. I can’t get hired because I’m overweight & where I live the only overweight that get anything accomplished have their own businesses or people that recommend them.
Nobody is willing to recommend me until I lose weight. I might as well just relocate so I can get a job. This town has always been very prejudice and racist. Which you think strange since it has a few nice and openminded people within its borders.
I recommend you find a mentor (teacher that will do it free, not a lifecoach) that will help aid you in learning the dog grooming trade. You can offer whatever you can to your mentor if you can find one.
I give condolences on your great grandmother.
Two hours is a little much. I suggest getting a more reasonable “best friend”.
I hope for better days coming your way. Sorry about your job environment.
