I work the job of my dreams in a nightmare environment. I’m a part owner of a company I’ve always dreamed working for. I bust my ass and work every day. In April we hired someone to help me out with the work after losing my mind and doing it all alone, what help he has been. He’s 23 almost 24. Has the attitude of a 13 year old and thinks he knows everything. He grew up with both parents at home, private schooled, and was a missionary. He grew up very easily. I on the other hand did not. The kid never had it hard at all, has never been through severe adversity. I’ve been homeless, I’ve been starved, I’ve been beaten, I’ve been isolated, I’ve been through so much shit that made me who I am. I get the kids never had it rough and I give him the benefit of the doubt every day. He’s just blatantly disrespectful and rude and hard to work with. He acts like he’s the only one doing anything. But who is sitting on their computer modifying purchase orders, responding to emails, assessing inventory, handling margins, automating shipping rules, dealing with customer service, handling dealers, handling suppliers, handling manufacturers, maintaining social media, creating budgets, all of this, every night, morning, day, you name it. While he’s playing video games and fishing all weekend, I’m sitting at my computer doing all of the above. Then I’m the bad guy for being in FaceTime with the only thing that keeps me happy and sane when he just did whatever all day. I get so sick of it all, it gets so old. The only thing I love is over a thousand miles away, and I feel trapped. I just feel like it’s so toxic. If something fucks up I’m the one who gets chewed out, I’m the one responsible for it all. It’s really destroying me. The Dream I literally suffered for is now my nightmare. The dream I was called crazy for, isolated for, treated like shit, starved, beaten, and broken for is now my nightmare. I feel like I’m on eggshells everyday, I can’t do it anymore. But what am I gonna do quit? Have no job, no high school diploma, no college education, no family, no place to go. Other than back on the streets to be homeless again. I’m tired of my life being the way it is. I’m tired of it all.
hey there friend
i am sorry for what’s happening to you and for what you had to go through in your life, I am not going to pretend like I understand, because I simply haven’t lived your life.
that sounds awful and I wish I could give you a solution, but I am here to talk if you want to.