Hi everyone
Here is something that has been on my mind for a while now. Something that is bugging me a lot lately. Well the future. I am worried that I dont have much to look forward to. I think that I can function right now but instead of growing it feels like my state of relative stability is getting challanged. I feel like I can’t grow past a certain point.
I am supposed to be studying for my psychology enterance exams and I am trying but it doesn’t go nearly as well as I had hoped for. It takes me a lot of energy to focus on it. I generally dislike learning things from books even tho I like reading. I preferre to listen rather than read. But I have to read these books to prepare. The competition is also great. Each year over 1000 apply and they take only 60. I am trying to force myself to study but that is not very effective because ordering your body is so much easier compared to ordering your mind.
I am starting to feel very unmotivated. I have watched a video where some kind of expert had a presentation about jobs and people with mental illnesses and one thing that he said was that when you compare most people within the same age group and educational level the people with mental illness earn overall 70% less money than their peers without mental illness. He also pointed out some other things I can link the video if anyone wants to see it, it is quite long tho. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gIUrncSQ48w
I am starting feel demoralised. I don’t even know what I want. I am starting to feel empty. I don’t know what my future looks like and maybe I don’t want to know.