Hi there @Rosethorn
Glad you are ok, and that you knew to go to the hospital at the time, your health and safety are the most important thing to consider.
Going over your post, I wanted to share with you what my experience was with medical issues and work.
I have a lifelong condition that can sometimes cause issues with my functioning at work - I started having issues in a year where I burned through all my sick time before the year was halfway through and obviously I would get in trouble for attendance before too long.
I remember feeling paranoid at the time because my manager would also schedule meetings with me and I would feel like the anvil was about to drop on me like in a loony toons cartoon or something. Like this burden over my head all the time.
My manager meetings were good things, they wouldn’t spend time on me if they were going to fire me I suppose. But I did find out about FMLA(I’m assuming you are in the USA) and that it isn’t just for folks who are pregnant or injured. I talked to my manager and they were able to find me the phone number for the administrator for FMLA at my company and get the process started.
I had to have a doctor office visit for my condition and I took the paperwork with me, the doctor filled out the questions and I faxed the form. It was about 2 weeks later and I was approved. The weight was lifted off my shoulders and I was able to operate much better at work knowing I was protected for the time I was sick, even if it went into unpaid time off.
I know this isn’t perfect for every situation, but opening up and asking for help was the best thing I did for myself as the relief from the anxiety of getting fired was worth all the effort to get the appointment and forms filled. My manager actually told me at the time that there are accomodations sometimes they will make if you can’t fit in FMLA guidelines. Maybe it’s worth it to ask around? If you are not feeling good asking manager you could call HR or look up the insurance and leave of absence information on your own.
If you aren’t able to take advantage, that is ok too.
I would just say try to focus on getting yourself well and also preparing for work with structure and planning things so that if it is a bad day, you can have at least some feeling of order. A really good routine can really act as a buffer when you are struggling. So that might include stuff like making sure your lunch is ready the night before, clothes laid out or hung up in the bathroom for the morning, etc.
Hoping my experience helps out <3/Mish
P.S. I wanted to give more info about FMLA, here’s a link if you are not familiar with it:
Family and Medical Leave Act