Back to heartsupport

Worried I'm going to be fired

I missed a lot of work lately. A few weeks ago I snapped and went to a hospital for support. They gave me a choice to do inpatient or outpatient care. I chose outpatient but then they said my insurance didn’t cover it. I didn’t want to do inpatient care because theres no say in how long they’ll keep you.
I missed five days of work. I also called off this Saturday as my rage was starting to act out.

I work with clients so I feel terrible when I call off. They put their trust in me to be there and I cancel. This is the first full time work I’ve had in a long time. Usually I book it and leave after a month or two. I’ve lasted five months.
Im told I’m a good worker and was recently compared to one of the trainers of our company. It made me feel good. But I’m struggling with being consistent. I talked to my doctor about changing my meds. I also reached out to the insurance consultant of the company to ask about options since I’m thinking about dropping down to part-time.
The insurance is why I work full time.

My boss and manager both want to schedule one-on-one meetings this week. I’m worried they are going to fire me. I’m scared and starting to feel down on myself . I don’t want to use my mental illness as an excuse but I don’t know how to explain myself. I feel ashamed


Hi @Rosethorn

I was in a similar situation right before I went on disability. I worked at this place for 13yrs and I went in to the hospital for detox and suicide watch. This went on and off for a year and at one point my HR dept said I should take a leave of absence so I could get my shit together. I wonder if that’s something you are able to do, but it’s an idea.

Most employers will work with you when something like this happens, but you should do some research to see what your state laws are for this type of situation. You should know your rights.

I hope your doctor will figure out what meds are right for you and you’ll be able to function better. I usually know when I need a meds adjustment, so if things are off for you then make sure you really pursue that, it could make a huge difference.


From: twixremix (Discord)

hi rose! i’m thankful you got the help you needed during your time at the hospital. you were getting the help you needed, and since we have 1 life to live, your choice to get help and have time off allowed you to even return to work. that is a respectable action to take and any reasonable manager with decent leadership skills would understand that. however, there are clients to care for so as long as you reach out to them before the time at the hospital, there should be no problem. usually though if you’re to be terminated, there would not be 2 separate one-on-ones so i’m extremely hopeful they each want insight on this and to establish next steps on how you can help one another if this situation happens again. good workers like you are not easy or common to fire so i’d go into each of these one-on-ones with confidence and have yourself prepared to talk through how you’ll make you being out of the office smooth on everyone as you get the help you need. all in all, i’m proud of you for going to the hospital for support, being open about it here on the wall, and for being a great employee for your team. it’s not easy to balance all that you do but i hope you can take time for yourself soon, especially following the one-on-ones. please keep us posted on what happens; you’ll be in my thoughts! i believe in you, rose! love, twix


From: Lisalovesfeathers (Discord)

Hi Friend, Thank you for your post. I really do not know very much about how companies work because I don’t work myself so I am not going to even try to comment on that part of your post. I am sorry you have had to have time off due to being unwell but you certainly do not have anything to feel ashamed of, people become unwell all the time with many different things and have to take time off of work, it happens and this time it was you. It is up to you if you decide to explain the reasons why. It doesnt sound like they are setting up to fire you, I would imagine it would be a lot more simple than all that but like I say, I don’t know. But I do know you have done nothing wrong and no reason to feel bad. I do think however if you are struggling with your mental health reaching out to your doctor was a great idea. It seems to me that you are doing a brilliant job taking care of yourself. keep an check on how you feel, check in with your doctor if you find you are not feeling ok and I think you will be alright. Be proud of yourself for doing so well. Much Love Lisa.


Hi there @Rosethorn

Glad you are ok, and that you knew to go to the hospital at the time, your health and safety are the most important thing to consider.

Going over your post, I wanted to share with you what my experience was with medical issues and work.

I have a lifelong condition that can sometimes cause issues with my functioning at work - I started having issues in a year where I burned through all my sick time before the year was halfway through and obviously I would get in trouble for attendance before too long.

I remember feeling paranoid at the time because my manager would also schedule meetings with me and I would feel like the anvil was about to drop on me like in a loony toons cartoon or something. Like this burden over my head all the time.

My manager meetings were good things, they wouldn’t spend time on me if they were going to fire me I suppose. But I did find out about FMLA(I’m assuming you are in the USA) and that it isn’t just for folks who are pregnant or injured. I talked to my manager and they were able to find me the phone number for the administrator for FMLA at my company and get the process started.

I had to have a doctor office visit for my condition and I took the paperwork with me, the doctor filled out the questions and I faxed the form. It was about 2 weeks later and I was approved. The weight was lifted off my shoulders and I was able to operate much better at work knowing I was protected for the time I was sick, even if it went into unpaid time off.

I know this isn’t perfect for every situation, but opening up and asking for help was the best thing I did for myself as the relief from the anxiety of getting fired was worth all the effort to get the appointment and forms filled. My manager actually told me at the time that there are accomodations sometimes they will make if you can’t fit in FMLA guidelines. Maybe it’s worth it to ask around? If you are not feeling good asking manager you could call HR or look up the insurance and leave of absence information on your own.

If you aren’t able to take advantage, that is ok too.

I would just say try to focus on getting yourself well and also preparing for work with structure and planning things so that if it is a bad day, you can have at least some feeling of order. A really good routine can really act as a buffer when you are struggling. So that might include stuff like making sure your lunch is ready the night before, clothes laid out or hung up in the bathroom for the morning, etc.

Hoping my experience helps out <3/Mish

P.S. I wanted to give more info about FMLA, here’s a link if you are not familiar with it:
Family and Medical Leave Act


From: eloquentpetrichor (Discord)

Hello, RoseThorn! First, I wanna say that I love your name! Now that that’s out of the way, I’m sorry for the trouble you are having with your insurance. Dealing with insurance and them telling you what you can and cannot do regarding your own health is just the worst. It’s one of the most annoying things we have to deal with as adults and I’m proud of you for not giving up and that you keep trying to get the help you need despite the insurance struggles. And I hope that if you do drop to part-time you don’t lose your insurance. As for your worries about being fired I can understand why you are worried but I feel like two people wouldn’t want to talk to you separately if all they were wanting is to fire you. I imagine if that were it it would be the two of them together or just one. It may very well be something unrelated or it may even be that they want to check on your well-being since you’ve been missing so much work. I don’t know, obviously, but those are my thoughts. And if it does come up then just know that telling them about your mental illness is not you using it as an excuse, it is you being honest about what is happening in your life. It is the same as if you were missing work for a bad back or any other physical ailment. It concerns your health and it is nothing to be ashamed about and it is certainly not “an excuse” but rather “an explanation”. I hope your meetings go well and you manage to your insurance problems sorted. Good luck! I have my fingers crossed for you :fingers_crosseD: :hrtlegolove:


From: eloquentpetrichor (Discord)



Hey Rosethorn!

EsRivs responded to your post today live on stream with some wonderful words of encouragement!

Here is a link to the video so you can see her reply!


Hello everyone. I know I wrote this post awhile ago. I’m doing okay and did not get fired. I did drop down to part time and found a second option for insurance. The holidays are always brutal. Thanks for all the responses