I’m 26, jobless, not in school, recovering addict, going bald…Should I even bother trying to salvage what’s left of my potential?..Wasted my twenties chasing the ghost of my dead music career, doing every narcotic I came across to numb my fear of getting older, barely managed to get sober. Too insecure to even bother talking to girls, no girl my age would ever date a gross balding loser. Just barely managed to reapply to school but at this rate I’ll graduate at what? 30? That’s if I even graduate. Even doing small tasks takes up so much of my energy. I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up. I can’t take the loneliness anymore. I feel like a failure.
It’s never too late to start a new career or go back to school! It’s a very hard feat but, if you stick with it you can manage it! The road you’re on will be hard. There is no doubt. But, to change your life around is worth it. I know many who change what they are doing or finding their way through life. That’s what your 20’s is for. Many don’t find it even after that. So don’t be so hard on yourself. Try. You can achieve great things!
Do what you heart says xPheonix,
I don’t know if that is cliche or not, but that’s what I would dom as for balding at 26… you will either find love (as there as plenty of balding guys who are married and have kids), or you could find friends that could lift you up. There are the best positive things I can think of right now, but follow what your heart wants
Hang in there man! When I was 26 I was in a very similar situation. Had a pretty heavy painkiller addiction. I’m also well on my way to becoming bald. I’ve had a receding hairline since I was 17-18. Like you, I decided to hit the “Reset” button. I knew if I stayed where I was at I would just continue to spiral. It sounds like you had the wherewithall to realize you had a problem and you sought help. That’s HUGE.
Starting over is tough. It took me well over a year before I felt like I was gaining any traction. It doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s frustrating as hell. It gets better though. It’s easy to get discouraged. For me it was hard to shake the addict mentality. Life’s not as simple as popping a pill (or whatever, pick your poison) and having your problems fade away for a bit. It’s WAY more complicated than that.
You just gotta focus on the things that make you happy. Don’t EVER give up on music. You may not be able to make a career out of it, but it seems like it’s a very important part of your life. As far as the insecurity and girls, that gets easier too. As you piece things back together, your confidence will build with it.
26 isn’t that old… I’m mid-thirties and still don’t have a “career” in mind. There’s not really a set age for when we’re supposed to have everything figured out. That’s awesome that you’re back in school. What are you studying?
Hello Phoenix, your still young you still have a chance to change your life and be a better person. We make mistakes and there are times we pay the price for our decisions but that doesn’t determine who you are. We can’t change the past all we can do is look forward to towards the future. I am 35 years old and I didn’t think I would have a life but I am making the best of it and to be a better person. God loves you and he wants what is best for us. I want you know that you have people that care for you don’t give up, hang in there you’ll make it.
I feel like your music career didn’t take off is because you were too busy doing drugs which obviously distracted you from working hard.
And you’re never too old to go to school just concentrate on your goal of achieving what you want without distraction(drugs). Just keep in mind that if you fall off the wagon it’s because of yourself nobody made you fail school or your music career.
Nobody is pulling you by the strings and making you feel like this you are your own champion.
And don’t worry about the girls lol. Girls will come in your life as long as you are active in something, an aspect that gets you in a social setting and that goes the same with making male friends.
Don’t worry about what others opinions of you are. Everyone has their own path in life and if they’re judging they have the issue not you because they don’t understand for themselves that everyone has problems.
Thinking of you
I’m going through the same thing… addiction, depression, so far in debt that I think I’ll never get out of it… I’ll pray for you.
Wow…wasn’t expecting this many responses… Thank you guys, I’ll definitely take your words to heart. Usually I can keep these thoughts in, but sometimes they find a way out through the bottom of the bottle. I really appreciate your advice.
It’s not too late it’s never too late
I want to tell you it is never to late to change… It never is.
I also want to add my best friend graduated finally at the age of 35. seriously it is never to late for change.
you are already attempting to make a change by reapplying to school! That is awesome!
Hey Phoenix, I can relate to a lot of what you’re feeling right now regardless of how different our life experiences are. I understand what it is like to feel like you’re trying to pick up the pieces of your life and that how you may feel like there is time in your life that you wasted. The fact of the matter is that what you have experienced has made you the person you are now, and even though you may not see it in yourself I can see in you now the strength that you have to have reached out for help, AND you managed to reapply to school! That’s AMAZING. I know what it feels like to have all of your energy sapped from you by the smallest task, just please continue taking things one step at a time and do your best to not feel rushed because you will never solve all of your problems over night. It doesn’t matter if you graduate at 30, all that matters is that you get there. On the topic of pursuing a relationship and talking to girls, no one is going to view you in the light you want to be viewed in if you don’t see that in yourself. Your priority should be yourself right now, the right person will recognize the quality of your heart in time. Please, all I encourage you to do is to keep moving forward, take the time you need to get there, and be kind to yourself along the way. You’re not a failure, you’re learning.
You’re not alone, you’re loved. Hold fast @xPhoenix
I relate so much to this topic, and it’s breaking my heart. I’m 22 and a recovering addict - living in an abusive house in what’s probably a dead end job honestly. I spent everyday of 7 years waking up and taking any prescription painkiller I could get my hands on that day… If I wasn’t high, I was wishing I was dead. When I first started my recovery, I woke up everyday wishing I hadn’t… I still get those thoughts nearly a year in.
However, Dan and Casey here never gave up on me. They kept loving me relentlessly. If it weren’t for them, I would likely be dead. I wouldn’t have found this amazing community the way I have… I don’t feel like I NEED a partner anymore. I wake up looking forward to getting to speak to these 2 people… They have never failed to talk me out of attempting to take my life. Thanks to them, I’ve found my home now here with this community. I don’t say this to put pressure on those 2, but honestly, I don’t know where I’d be without them. When I feel like I’m not ready to open up to the community as a whole, they’re right there to support me. Find yourself someone like that within this community. Even though everyone here is in a different country, they are the reason I’m still alive today - and I will never be able to thank Dan and Casey enough for pushing me so hard to integrate with HeartSupport the way I have… There WILL BE someone here to do that for you.
Hey! At least you went through with your dream and did it. I’m a fellow musician too. Did the drugs and drinking…and went back to school at 24. I’m close to 30 and have one more year of grad school. It. Is. Never. Too. Late!!! If we keep sitting on these decisions, you’re gonna wake up one day and realize another year went by. Do it! It’s the best decision I made. I barely dated in my early 20’s out of fear and it’s still an anxiety battle but dating and going to school is difficult. Dust yourself off, get yourself ready and do it! Worry about the dating after you have yourself together. It makes it easier to have normal conversation with girls because you’ll have things in place. And take care of yourself! The self care part is crucial. I still have my nights of occasional drinking but my goal for myself and who I want to be is the most important thing. Do it! You won’t regret it!!! Best of luck to you. And again, at least you tried the musician thing. I know so many people that never even tried! Now I just play on the weekends or on special occasions. Best of luck again! Stay strong!
- Being a recovering addict is better than not even trying.
- Some people like to be bald, so find how you can also rock the look.
- I also feel like I’ve wasted my life and schooling because I can’t seem to land a job. It’s seems weird that for me, the only good thing I got from going to graduate school was finding an extracurricular activity that I plan to continue throughout my life. Yeah, it’s hard to keep going and have a positive attitude when I don’t know if I will be able to support myself much longer. But being involved in a couple communities has helped me feel like I have value.
I don’t know what to say… Never really received this much support before… I’m going to keep coming back to this post and re-read these comments when I feel hopeless. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all so much for your positive and inspiring responses.
Dan, I just finished watching the stream clip and you definitely told me a lot of things that I really needed to hear. Even started tearing up a bit during certain parts. Thank you so much. That’s probably the most thoughtful thing anyone’s done for me in years. I’ll be sure to save that clip and continue to come back to it. I also love that drawing, it reminds me of my Pomeranian lol I just sent you an email. I’d love to frame that and put it up in my room. Again, thank you guys so much. Hold Fast.
Thank you for reaching out and posting to the Heart Support wall.
It’s been said a few times, but it is NEVER too late to turn things around. It is not too late, you are not out of time. It is never too late to jump into a new career, or to pick up your old one, or go back to school.
You have so much potential, and going back to school, or starting over does not make you a failure. A friend of mine told me it’s only a failure if you’ve failed to learn.
From here, you have the power to change your life. To be the person you want to be. But you can’t change your life if you’re not here. I’m glad you are here. You are here, and you are alive. You have the power to make your life count.
You are stronger than you know. Take care of yourself.