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You are so strong & absolutely amazing. I’m glad I have someone like you to look up to. I hope I get to meet you in person one day. I didn’t go through anything nearly as tough as you have, but I find myself hard to love. I was told by my 1st boyfriend at 14 (he was 21) that no one would ever love me, I’d never be good enough, I wasn’t worth anything… list goes on. Every now & then, those words creep in & it leads to massive bouts of self-doubt.
Hey friend. Thank you so much for taking the time to share this. Your boyfriend was wrong at the time, and his words are still wrong today. What he said has never been a reflection of you or your worth – it was he expression of his inability to provide the love you actually deserved, and still do. It was on him, not you. I understand though that words, especially harmful ones, leave a mark on us that is particularly hard to get rid of. It sticks to our wounds, to our fears, to our own vulnerability. I have my own inherited dictionary in mind, full of unloving words that people told me. They tend to show up at times when I’m the most fragile, which is unfair. It’s unfair that someone else’s hatred slowly becomes something that shapes the way we see ourselves, the way we immerse ourselves in life. I obviously don’t know the person who told you these things, but he wass wrong. He was describing someone that maybe he needed to have in front of him, so it could justify his own unkindness. But that person was not you. You are good enough. You are worthy of all the love that this world can bring. His demons never had to be your own, and I truly believe in your ability to progressively learn to let go of these words that you never deserved to keep carrying. The very fact that you know where these thoughts come from is huge. It is huge because it helps seeing how much it’s not about you, but it was about life circumstances. I believe you are meant to live a life free of these lies, and you have taken a very significant step in this direction today, by sharing your voice and saying “this is what HE said, but it is NOT who I am”. <3
You are loved. You are worthy. I hear your words. I feel your spirit.
Forever know that at all times God loves you and you are not alone.
The stories your head tells you are just words. Not truths.
Please hold on to that.
Always, you are loved. And deserving of love. Always.
No one can take that from you.
@bunzngunz_momma love you sister and you are worthy of love and I am thankful for you!!! I hope one day I get to meet you as well!!! I know that pain all too well my step dad use to tell me that as a young girl and he was abusive to me mentally and physically which was one of the reasons I joined the Army to learn to be strong bc I was tired of someone telling me I wasn’t worthy!!! You’re amazing sister if you ever need anything in those days of doubt know you have my support!!!
thank you. So blessed to have you as a sister & friend. I’ll try to remember I’m not alone & it’s ok to reach out.