You think people are your friends

It always seems like my “friend” only comes to me when he needs something. He never stops to think about how it makes me or anyone around him feel. He’s been through four girlfriends in the past four months, and always comes to me to say he is going to kill himself. I try talking to him and all he says is he can’t handle it. He lies to me about harming himself, and uses me for sympathy and attention. I ask him if he wants to hang out or play a video game, he says “no.” But when I go and hang out with one of my only other friends, he gets upset when I “didn’t invite him.” I tell him I did and he says “Oh, you meant with other people. I didn’t want to hang out with just you.” It hurts my heart to know that this is someone I’ve known for four years, and just doesn’t care anymore. I try to think about other things, but it always goes back to him. I can’t handle him anymore and don’t know what I can do. It just always feels like I can’t do anything and that I just have to sit and watch until I need to be used. I don’t know what I can do anymore, it hurts knowing you lost one of your friends when you barely had any to begin with. I try to do things that get my mind off of it, and just can’t seem to get it out of my head. It always comes back to me and makes me think, “Is it my fault?” and I just don’t know what to do anymore.

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@Chute, try to talk to him, honest and straightforward and out front. Tell him how you feel, how he’s been acting. I know honesty can be difficult, but it’s the way to get your mind across.People hurt, yes, but that doesn’t give them the right to use other people and drag them down too without giving anything back in return. What other people do isn’t your fault, they made that decision, unless you directly told them what to do.
It’s okay not to know what to do, it all happens to us.

Devil’s Choir - Black Veil Brides (a song about how in life you know a person who is so self-destructive that being a shoulder for them to lean on can sometimes become counterproductive to your relationship)

I wish you hope & luck friend! :slight_smile:

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Hey there,

It sounds like you are very emotionally drained. It is hard to help someone that you care for when they seem to not want to help themselves. We can give all the support and encouragement we want, but in the end, they have to put in the work. We can’t do it for them. It sounds like you are very supportive and encouraging, but it can still be hard not to question ourselves. Know that you can’t control whether or not they take what you say into consideration or whether or not they change. I can see that you are very kind and loving and want the best for him. So, know that you are not at fault and you are doing the best you can. It is ultimately up to him to put in the work.

Hold Fast,
Hannah Rhodes

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