I don’t know what to do anymore. About a month ago i found out i was pregnant. My nervousness soon turned to excitement and it was time for our first sonogram. The same appointment they found out my pregnancy was ectopic and i was going to need a procedure. The procedure is done but the pain is still there and i can’t help but to think that if this was God’s plan then why he gave me a baby in the first place. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Hi Emily,
I’m so sorry about this. Sometimes things we have and we never know why.You are not alone in this struggle. I don’t know why this happened. I don’t know what to tell you with it being God’s plan or not.
But the best i can say is that He can make beauty come out of your suffering. He hasn’t left you and He doesn’t plan on it. Heres a blog that i thought i share with you. This women has experienced the same type of suffering you have too. Theres some other blogs about the subject if you wanna check them out too or even reach out to her. Hope this helps friend. Praying for you.
https://christinamead.com/2017/12/pain-joy-heart-tug-war/
Emily,
Man, this is so brutal…to feel like you went through such a rollercoaster of emotions…like you were hesitant and scared and alone at first but then to get your hopes up and your excitement and to feel like you finally wrapped your mind around the reality of becoming a mom, and then the rug ripped out from underneath you, and to feel all of the pain, and sorrow, and guilt, and all of the pain from crashing down from such a high of being so excited about it all…it felt like you were connecting to this child inside of you, and now all of that is torn away from you, and you can’t figure out how to make sense of this pain…it feels like the easiest thing, the only thing, that makes sense is to blame God – why did he do this to you? why did he have to get your hopes up, to give you this child in the first place, especially if he knew that he was going to take it away? It just doesn’t feel fair. It’s a terrible disappointment and pain, and you feel more alone now than ever, feeling like you had someone with you all the time who was going to walk through life with you, and now you’re back where you dread…being alone. It just all feels like so much to bear :\
I’m so sorry, emily. I can’t imagine having to carry all of that on your shoulders at 17.
I want to share this video with you because even though their situation is mostly different, when they lost their daughter, the message of hope and the promise for you is the same:
Hey @emilyygradan,
I’m so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I can’t even imagine the turmoil you must be going through. Allow me to give you some hope and encouragement. A few years ago I read the book “Heaven is for Real” and one chapter stuck out to me. The kid, Colton (who apparently died and went to heaven), saw a little girl who claimed to be his sister. Fast-forward when Colton told his mom that he didn’t know he had a little sister. Unbeknownst to him, his mom had a miscarriage of a baby girl before Colton was born. I don’t know about you, but this gets me excited to see what’s on the other side and who’s waiting for me. Your baby could very well be waiting for you. 
-Eric
I’m really sorry that you suffered a miscarriage. I am atheist and I don’t think blaming your God is the right answer. Our bodies are complex and it’s important to talk to your doctor about your body and learn from this. There is a chance that you have a high chance of ectopic pregnancies and you need to talk to your doctor to make sure you are doing what you can so you don’t cause further damage to your body. Every person is different, I would take some time to process this and realize you may need to wait a lot longer to have a child. Just realize that you cannot guilt yourself over something that was out of your control. All you can do is learn from it and take good care of yourself moving forward
It isn’t your fault & god isn’t saying it isn’t time yet. It is a miracle when someone is born. So logically there are going to be miscarriages. Am I saying you should accept it or it isn’t a big deal? I am saying whether a baby is born or even if there happened to be a miscarriage it is a big deal.
I congradulate you for having a child & I am sorry you experienced a miscarriage. There is nobody to blame. There is no wrong way to feel or respond to it.
I wish you peace & prosperity. (May your children be protected & blessed.)