Part of me feels stupid for writing this, even though I know it’s in my best interest to seek help. I’ve struggled with anxiety for quite some time now and was able to deal with it for the past year or two in a healthier manner. Lately though, I’ve been feeling it escalate pretty quickly. It gets to the point where if someone close to me doesn’t respond immediately, or at least within the same day, I start to freak out and panic. I feel like they’ve had enough and want nothing to do with me, even though in reality they’re more than likely busy. I begin hyper-focusing on things that are irrelevant in my life. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. When it gets real bad I start to have massive panic attacks until my face and hands go numb and I can’t breathe no matter how hard I try.
I’ve reached out to a couple of people close to me but the only advice I’ve been able to get is to just breathe and stop focusing on the bad (like it’s that easy). I have one friend who understands more than anyone else, but they’re one of the ones who has been busy lately. I’m starting to scare myself with how much I’m able to talk myself into believing that no one really cares, even though I know my family and friends would be devastated without me. I decided to make a lot of changes in my life to try and fix it but it feels like that’s when things started to go downhill again. I don’t know if I feel bad for cutting people out of my life even though I know they’re toxic for me, or if it’s something deeper than that.
Sometimes I wish I would start having a massive panic attack just so I could feel the numbness instead of constant pain or focus on something other than my constant nagging thoughts.
Birdie24,
Man, tooooootally relatable…the fear cycle can be so brutal, especially when it just turns over and over and over and gets faster and faster and steeper and steeper, and all of a sudden you’re in a nose dive, and you don’t know how to pull yourself out, and then you’re in this state of panic, and your body starts to react out of the fear that’s in your mind, and you don’t know how or when or if it will stop.
Brutal. Especially when the fear can start from something so small in your life, like texting someone and not getting a reply back quickly enough…it can be so hard to talk yourself through something when it is so seemingly insignificant or small compared to other problems you could be talking about or share with others…it almost makes it HARDER to reach out because you’re afraid people won’t understand or you’re afraid that people will judge you for the crazy pain you feel completely stuck in.
I remember one of our good friends, Matty Mullins, sharing about his panic attacks and what helped him during that season of his life. It actually led him to write one of their best songs, called No Ordinary Love. I’ll link the interview and the song below.
Hey @Birdie24,
I’ve been struggling with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) for about 6 years now, and after going through a series of psychiatry meetings and psychology/counseling sessions, I’ve come up with this “emergency list” to utilize when I’m going through periods of extreme anxiety. I hope to helps you too! 
- Take deep breaths every time you think about breathing (Using the “4-7-8 Method”)
- Consider consuming mood-enhancing tablets (Omega-3, 5-MTHF)
- Get enough sleep (Go to bed early!)
- Watch/listen to your favorite comedian
- Exercise (Swim, if possible)
- Download a meditation application (Headspace, Breathe, 10% Happier)
- Activate essential oil diffuser with lavender oil
- Temporarily change music to something relaxing (i.e. Hammock)
You’re worrying yourself to the point of exhaustion. I’ve been there to the point I was worrying someone I cared about must be hurt. I would get to the point I was breaking stuff with my fist or grabbing something to swing. I would bounce side to side grinding my teeth or walking back & forth or in circles.
I would break down ranting or crying. Even like you I’d think they hate me and have abandoned me. This wasn’t the truth. I needed a med change and once I got it I was fine. Yet I had to cope with it for almost an entire month. I would distract myself on purpose not giving me time to worry. I would right or draw or watch a movie or play a videogame. Anything that would distract me. This worked for me mostly.
Thank you all for the tips and encouraging messages. I have been keeping myself busy the past couple months (which is why I haven’t responded), but it opened my eyes to why my anxiety had gotten so bad. I hadn’t been doing the things I typically use to help me cope with things for about a year. I have now incorporated almost all of those things back into my daily/weekly routines to help myself. One of my friends also sent me a song that helps A LOT. I listen to it on repeat most days. I still have my bad days or tough moments, but knowing I have a support system really helps with that. So thank you again!
hey @Birdie24 ,
just want to say you are not alone the past couple days , ive been dealing with anxiety/panic issues my self . it may seem hard to keep your mind off of it but doing something to keep your mind busy will help you . doing activites such as listen to music/ go on a walk and any other phsyical activities may work to calm you down. with me , anxiety has been a big part of my life . i have anxiety presenting in front of a class, some stuff was hard for me to do but i know that im human and im not alone.i have believed lies , like feeling i was unloved because of crap that was bothering me that i felt like they want to see me in a certain way . also, i wanted to escape being around those who made me mad in the past , and i just didnt want to be around them for my sake but i have know i may need to be around them cause i dont know when their last day alive would be?.
-ashley
Hey friend
First I want to tell you that you are not alone. And you are so courageous for reaching out, that’s probably the hardest part, and I’m so glad you reached out. This is a safe place that you can reach out! We love you and we are here for you.
As far as anxiety, oh my goodness friend it’s so freaking tough. One thing I can encourage you to do is when you are having a panic attack is to focus on your surroundings and your breathing. Identify the things around you that you can hear, smell, touch, taste, and see, and identify three of each, while you are focusing on your breathing. It’s not easy believe me, I’ve struggled with this a lot but my friend I believe in you, and so does this community.
As far as freaking out when people don’t respond to your message within an hour of it being sent oh my goodness me too friend, I get it, I really freaking do, and I do the same thing and it’s hard. I encourage you to watch this video. It’s when Nate, Danjo and Casers were talking about another support wall post, but I think it applies here too. Toward the end of the video they are talking about trusting. Trusting that when you reach out (especially to healthy people who want to be there for you and to support you), they will respond when they can, and just because they don’t respond immediately, doesn’t mean that they don’t care, or that you’re not worth it. And oh my goodness friend, I’ve watched that vod an upward of 20 times since watching it live on stream, because it hits my heart so much. Here’s a link to the vod: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/344183480 I hope that it’s as encouraging to you as it has been to me.
I hope that this response has been an encouragement to you, as well as the response fro Dan and Casers during the live stream. Please remember my friend that you are loved, and we care about you deeply, keep reaching out. If you would like feel free to join the heart support discord at https://www.discord.gg/heartsupport That is a phenominal place to meet new friends, and have support in the real-talk secition of the discord. Remember you are not alone, and we love you!
Hold Fast, You’re Worth It,
Monkey
Thank you guys for taking this seriously. I usually feel like my problems are just me being dramatic, because that’s what some people tell me. It means and helps a lot to know that people really do care and are here to help me!