After 6 months of being clean of self harm and going to therapy. I fucked up bad. I felt like that was what I needed, but it only made my situation worse. After losing my best friend and father to suicide, I felt that was the only thing. Help me forget about that pain I was feeling. I just thought it was all my fault that they killed themselves. I actually still feel that way. I can’t cope with this anymore.
Hey there,
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what that must have been like for you. Know that the choices your father and best friend made were not because of you. I also want you to know that you are not a failure because you relapsed. The fact that you were clean for 6 months is SO WONDERFUL! Healing and working through self-harm is a journey and there will be bad days. Just because you relapsed doesn’t mean you can’t get clean again and be clean for even longer! We love and believe in you. You have an entire community that loves you! You most definitely can do this!
Hold Fast,
Hannah Rhodes
1 Like
I lost my best friend last year to suicide as well. It really is hard, and it feels like if you had only done this or that, they’d still be here. You can’t keep putting that blame on yourself. You loved them as best as you could. They’d want you to be happy.
A year later, I still feel that way, but you need to keep pushing through. You are loved, and you are wanted. As long as you’re still making progress, no matter how small, that’s what matters most.