If only blood was thicker than water

HeartSupport Support
1

I love my family more than life itself. But they definitely don’t care about me…

Back in February I had just finished a crappy work day and wanted to go say hi to my mom. I pulled into the drive way and the house was quiet. I came inside the door and my mom was sitting in her chair watching TV.
We talked a little, just small talk not really about much too important.

Then my 2nd eldest brother came out and joined us. Our conversations changed a few times within the next few moments.

Then I heard a weird noise coming from the back of the house, near Charles’s room.

HE walked out…He who took something from me… he took a part of me, my sense of security… my childhood…

He came out of the room and my body felt numb. My face froze as he entered the living room giving me a smirk… I wanted to vomit after he said “you remember me,” knowing damn well I knew exactly who he was… his name still makes me feel nauseous… seeing his face in my moms new house…

I feel my heart racing… I’m getting really anxious and realize I can’t sit still anymore, my right leg was shaking and I was digging my nails into the skin on my hands.

I got up and left, if I said anything To my family before, I don’t remember it.

So now we have what happened today, I hardly get on Facebook for various reasons.

But today I checked mine and I see my youngest eldest brother invited me to the Wedding Party for a guy that stalked me in high school.

A guy that I caught several times outside my bedroom window. Or pacing outside our backdoor. Would message me threatening me because I told him to leave me alone… After he threatened me he ended up pacing right outside my front door and the guy I was dating at the time and his friends had to chase him off.

I just don’t know how to deal with this… my family is already famous for diminishing my feelings and patronizing me. They know what these men did to me…

I feel like I’m being raped all over again…

I just wanna die

2

What happens to you does not define you … It took everything I had to walk away from my family and the ones that truly cared stuck around, suddenly I hold what’s left of my family together …if you want to hear my story just ask , you aren’t alone

3

I’m sorry you’re going through this fine. Remember we are here for you and we love you.

Kayla

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Hey @no0dle,

I’m so sorry to hear about your family situation. It sounds like you have a big heart, and you should be proud of it! I’m the oldest of my family (I have one younger brother and one younger sister), and I love them dearly. Being the oldest, I’m known to have given my younger siblings a hard time (because, hey, it’s the oldest siblings’ job right??). However, just because I banter them from time-to-time (not much anymore, as I’m growing older), doesn’t mean that I love them any less. If anything, it means I love them more. For example, although I’m not Australian, their culture tends to be a little rough, but I’m told that if they banter you, it actually means they really like you. I’m NOT trying to defend what your family is doing, I’m just trying to provide a sliver of hope in a dark environment. I’d highly recommend talking to your family about how you’re feeling, because they might not even know that you’re feeling this way because of how they’re acting. Stay strong! We believe in you.

-Eric

1 Like
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@no0dle, I’m so sorry you had to go through that sister.
You have such a big and kind heart for loving your family even though they treat you like that. Maybe what you need is to walk away. Find a new place. It can be hard to find friends, but there are good ones out there.
Know you are not alone.
You are strong, sister, and we believe in you