I’m really struggling to stay positive. I almost got this job (i’m a full-time college student) but had to decline the job offer because I just can’t. And my depression just snuck up again. I started antidepressants in February and one was working till now. It hurts so much to like do anything to move or speak. And I feel so stupid. Like I struggle with moving? With functioning? With eating? I’m like always nauseous and shaky and just sad. But I don’t want to go see a therapist again or go change my meds. Like I’m almost scared of what is going to happen. I feel like if things start to get better like what’s the point because they’re just going to get this bad again. I just don’t know what to do. It hurts so much. And I can’t reach out to friends because who wants to hang out with or be around someone just sad. I know I should go to therapy again, see my doctor about my meds, reach out to a friend or family member. Like I know. But it just hurts too much to do that right now. Maybe in a little while sure but it just hurts. And I feel stupid for saying that like I’m in pain because I’m sad? like I feel so so stupid with all of this. ANd I feel like its such a dumb problem like there’s a lot of worse crap going on everywhere and im what? Depressed? Like I feel like I’m wasting peoples time when I reach out. I don’t really know.
Hey,
You are not stupid, this is not silly and I’m not laughing. Just because your pain is different from the way others feel pain doesn’t make it any less real. I am sorry that you are in pain. I know we don’t know one another but you’re wasting my time. Try to be proud of yourself. You took a big leap by reaching out and that takes a hell of a lot of courage to do that. I know you are scared but we can’t let fear win. Please know that I believe in you and that we are here to listen. I promise no time is going to be wasted here. One day at a time.
Hold Fast
M