Hey everyone! Thanks a lot for think kind words especially from @DyllonKG for featuring my last post on a stream of his!
Alright, good news.
Well, I’ve noticed more and more mood swings, from demotivation to happy, normal me. Very interesting thing, since I haven’t noticed that before. I did take the advice from many of the members of Goop’s stream, so I have been getting out more and “forcing” myself to get back into guitar and instrument playing. I’ve also been drinking lots of water, as well as getting rest. The appointment hasn’t moved for me to go see the GP doc, so that’s good.
Bad news.
More and more people are noticing my isolationism and demotivation swings and are getting concerned. Not good. A girl that has been sending me mixed messages (flirty, and not. She’s also taken btw. Trying to heavily respect that) has been treating me like a “school boyfriend”, which isn’t awesome. She’s hitting on me and so on. I do like her, but I respect the guy she’s dating a lot. (The three of us have met on more than one occasion through the air cadet program here in Canada) he’s a really good dude, and I’m trying to get out of this. I dunno, it’s hard. She seeks me out when I try to be alone, and she just kinda brings me along like I’m her boyfriend. I’m getting really uncomfortable and have voiced this, but she isn’t listening. It’s a massive can of worms. She’s also been like weirdly protective of me. Like, I’m usually the kind of guy that girls at my school casually talk to as a friend, and it’s been happening less and less. I know there isn’t rumors mucking about, but it’s weird. I’ve also noticed that when we hang out, she’s pretty, like, close to me and stuff. I don’t like the vibe and got no clue what to do.
Anyways. If that’s too much for you here’s a TL;DR: having mood swings, doing things recommended by others, going to see a GP doc next weekend, and weird girl issues.
Keep on keeping on,
MoP.
MoP,
Dude, what an awesome update – I love this. Thanks so much for posting an update. I didn’t see your first post, but I’m a huge fan of @gooperatives and the love that he pours out onto his community and ours. Thanks for listening to their advice and taking it into practice – this post, while it isn’t “all blue skies”, is super rad. 1) Because you’re aware of yourself and where you’re at, 2) because you’re sharing what you’re going through with others, and 3) because you’re taking action to make your situation better. So cool.
Sucks to feel like you’re entangled in this really weird relational spot – it’s like…it feels nice to have this girl care about you and like you and want you…and in another world where she wasn’t with the dude she’s with, you’d probably engage with her flirtations. Problem is, your values of respect and honor are grinding up against this desire for validation and companionship…and it’s like, you feel you can’t full on shut off the relationship…but you can’t full on engage with it either…so you’re stuck in this place of the in between where you’re torn in the middle…and it’s almost worse to be in the middle because you get just enough of a taste of both sides to want them both and yet have neither.
I think the greater piece of you wants to respect this dude though – even if it’s just logically – and I know that you can get support and love and companionship elsewhere, while you can’t get honor and respect other than making decisions like the one you’re in right now. If I had to recommend something, I’d say shut the relationship with this girl down, keep your integrity, and use the energy you aren’t spending on that relationship to find another.
Easier said than done. But also seems like you’re in a season of taking those difficult decisions and applying them to your life.
Either way, proud of you, man. You’re doing a great job.
-Nate
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Make sure that this girl is into you. I am concerned that you told her to stop and she hasn’t. One clue if she’s hitting on you is has she ever told you that you look hot or is highly inappropriate at times especially when you guys are alone.
If she has then she’s most likely hitting on you. If not then most likely your friend might just be worried about you like everyone else.
Hello again MoP
First off, thank you so much for the love youve sent our way. This is just our way of giving back to you - i hope that the perspective we have shared is helping. It wont fix it, but it will you help you fight the darkness.
For the girl issues - here is what we said.
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Thank you very Much Nate! Sorry for the very late reply, I’ve been extremely busy as of late. I understand what your saying, but like you said, it’s easier said than done. I’m not sure if I want to sever this relationship, but I will definitely take a step back and reevaluate this relationship. Thanks a lot Nate for the input.
Thanks for the input MentallyillGamer, I’ll definitely keep this in mind. Even though she hasn’t been saying that I look hot, she has been saying a lot of things along the lines of flirting and what not. I’ll keep this in mind while I try to figure this all out. I’m going to take a step back for a little bit from her, and figure this all out for sure. That is, if I can find time to be alone. Thanks a lot for your insight on this!
Hey Gooperaatives, once again, sorry for being late on the replies!
I’m going to have a conversation with her about all this, maybe… I might take a moment to figure out what’s going on before I confront her. As you said, as well as many members of your stream had, I should talk to him about this too. The thing is, he is not in our school, and I have no way of contacting him. I had left Cadets a while ago (should have disclosed that but ooops), before they were in a relationship, and he was a nice dude. Thanks again for the help, and hopefully I can talk to you all on discord on better terms. Thanks a lot for the help.