What am I supposed to learn?

After being cheated, abused verbally and abandoned the day before my wedding I can’t help but think of people saying maybe you can instead see what you can learn from it, what God wants you to learn.

Well I don’t know what I can learn from that. It just feels like the sole purpose was to torture me. Why would God put a desire so strong as to get married and start a family if I’m always going to be hurt and abandoned? What good can I learn from being the best I could only to be betrayed, see my dreams die in front of me, my worst fear come true and no happy ending ever in sight?

How does one overcome such heartbreak? How can I ever again open my heart to the one thing I long the most if I know I’m gonna be tortured and abandoned again?

I’m sorry for your pain. I know what it’s like to be cheated on. It’s ok to feel what you’re feeling and sit in the pain for a while because what happened sucks so bad. So Bad! But as time passes the pain lessens and maybe the learning will begin. The fact is something really shitty happened and it hurts but ultimately we cannot let it define us. Because shitty happen in life Without fail. Keeo the faith

From, being betrayed? You don’t at least in my experience. You can alleviate the pain yet it never goes away. The best you can do is to be cautious around others especially who start connecting deeply with you because most of them pretend to be there for you instead of being honest that they’re there for themselves.

All you can do is try not to become negative, bitter & toxic from it. Heartbreak alleviates over time especially when someone better rolls around. As for opening up or caring about someone…that is easy. Being upfront & honest is totally easy to do if you start denying yourself from lying. To trust someone that is a different story. I can’t even properly trust my family.

Trust is one of the foundations where relationships develop and strengthen. It makes it possible to become friends or lovers with someone. Where there is no trust there is no love. So you can care about others, be open and honest with them even like them. Yet if you can’t trust them then you can’t love them. I know this from experience.

Which is why most likely I will always be alone, feel lonely & never learn love. I will die alone and it is all my fault because I find it very hard to trust people more than to hate them.

I hope better days come for you and somehow you don’t end up like me. That one day your someone comes along and earns your trust and you get to finally experience love.