All my life I have been choosing not to be seen, and it worked.
I’ve been invisible in all sorts of situations and settings; everywhere I went and go.
In school I wasn’t seen and at home I was overlooked. No matter what I did or said, I got away with it (okay, for the most part) because usually no one noticed.
That was a reason that lead to me doing all sorts of stupid things, and get away with it.
For the longest time no one noticed that I was struggling and how bad it was.
I believe only the invisible can see the invisible and that can be a very lonely place…
Most times I am okay with being invisible, i just live in my own world, but on days like today, I’d rather be seen.
Hey unseen, its been crazy because i feel the same way, especially the last year. Its so lonely but its a safe place for me. Im not well right now and i have decided no on really cares. Its just up to me to put myself out there or not. No one gets me so i stay invisible and just watch them all live in a fakery of what they think is important. Suffering is the realest emotion i have ever felt and to know there is no real reason why…everything is from my past but it haunts me throughout the day. I can’t escape it and if i can’t get out of this rabbit hole id rather not exist. I found i can not exist by staying invisible i get lonely too
Hi friend, I want you to know that I see you now for what that’s worth. I understand exactly where you’re coming from, and how it can be to be invisible when you want to be and then how isolating it is when you don’t want to be. I want you to know that you do matter, regardless of whether you feel invisible now or not. You’re not to me, I care and I want you to try and not gravitate towards those things that aren’t necessarily healthy for you.
It sucks to not be noticed. Just know that this feeling doesn’t reflect on you being a bad person or stupid or annoying or any of that. Reach out and people will take your hand. Not everyone, but the right people will be there for you if you let them. And if you need to find people like that, you find the right place. We see you, we hear you, we love you. You’re cared for.
Fiji… You may feel invisible and unseen, but, you’re not. We see you. However, I do understand how you feel. I was always seen, but, for all the wrong reasons and by the wrong people. I was seen by other students at school, just… As a target, not as a “human”. I was bullied relentlessly for 13 years… The people that needed to see me, couldn’t or wouldn’t… Even at home… My sisters are my parents babies, and I’m just in the background, only around when they need something done. On Friday, we had to put my dog down, and he was our families baby boy. My parents see that my sisters are struggling because they don’t come out of their rooms - they don’t talk. Yet, here I am, being forced to go to work, and forced to take on responsibility at home because they believe I’m handling it well… When actually, I’m the only one who seems to have fallen so low that my body is shutting down. It hurt me, but, I couldn’t express that to my parents… Where they had each other… I didn’t. They dumped it all on me. It wasn’t until I came to HS that I actually started to be seen… And, I see that even more especially right now, I came up on Friday, and within an hour of messaging, Dan had called me and just allowed me to let everything out… Where no one was seeing my pain, he did… I’m someone who feels incredibly unsafe expressing emotion to that extent, but, during that time we were talking… He made it feel so easy and i felt so safe, because I knew I was being heard.
I spent my entire life closed up, hiding from everyone… Up until I was 21. I’ve been a part of this community for a little over a year, and it’s made a world of difference that I didn’t always realise. I told my therapist that when it came to having to put my dog down, I was scared I would isolate and keep to myself… Boy was I wrong. The first thing I needed to do was talk to someone. I was NOT coping without having someone… Before that, I would have isolated and kept to myself… It works just to have that one person. I promise.
Thank you so much for reaching out! Growing up, I used to be really, really shy. There isn’t a problem with being shy, but I believe purposely seeking isolation during depressing seasons can be dangerous, because depression can grow in the dark. Just promise me that you’ll continue to be vocal when you’re going through struggles, whether it be with friends/family or even on the HS Forum Wall. The more you talk about it, the better you’ll feel. We hear you. We see you. Stay strong friend!
