My friends are calling me martyr, stupid, idiot, douchebag and more because I can’t let go of the girl who made me realize I am worthy of being loved too. She cheated on me many times but I just can’t let her go. I know she’s been loving me this whole time. I was just away, that’s why she cheated. Am I wrong for still keeping her? I always believe that if you love someone, you shouldn’t let that someone go. I can’t afford seeing her with somebody else. I loved, love and will be loving her for sure. Is that wrong?
I don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to be loved. You have such a deep and rich history with this person, and it makes sense that you’re holding onto hope that it will work out with her.
I also don’t think it’s kind to your own heart to hold onto her if she’s not holding onto you back.
I’d get curious – what did you believe about love before her? What do you believe about yourself – your own worthiness? Do you feel you deserve to be loved? Do you feel you deserve to be loved WELL? Wholeheartedly, not divided like you’re being loved now?
More important than whether or not you stay with this girl is learning about your own heart…because something here has been wounded…you’re holding onto someone that’s only going to keep hurting you. You’re holding onto more of an idea than a person, and in that sense, you’re not really holding onto anyone at all, you’re holding onto a feeling, onto hope of feeling it again. Why do you think that is?
Get curious about yourself and your own heart. Look inside of yourself and don’t let go until you understand. When you do, I think the answers you’re looking for will probably follow suit.
Sometimes we develop unhealthy emotional attachments to people who will only hurt us in the long run. I don’t know how long you were gone but she shouldn’t have cheated. No offense to you or any other guy but girls are better at getting themselves off and if she still cheated then she wasn’t interested in just getting off. People who cheat are looking for an emotional connection elsewhere and they are often people who can’t successfully handle a monogamous relationship.
Society tells men they aren’t allowed to show emotion or feel things so when they find someone who allows them to feel vulnerable and cared for, they develop an unhealthy attachment. This obsession is not good for your well being or for hers. Saying that she’s been loving you this whole time is just hurting you more. You deserve better. You deserve someone who won’t cheat on you the second you turn your back. Its going to cause you a lot of anxiety in this relationship and all future relationships if you stay. She made the decision that it was not important to her when she cheated on you. Don’t let your self worth be measured by her