140iq Mild Genius Autistic Overthinker

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I was heavily gaslit as a child. I’m trying to find more information on how I can help work myself out of the sad feelings and the attachment to the experiences and memories I had that I might not even fully recall. Not that I think I’ve ever been abused severely or hit beyond being shoved and slapped and full of times. However I was in terms of not being helped with my autism I needed, I was a little genius when I was a kid and never needing help from adults , and I think I used to make adults really angry and bitter at me because I used to ask questions no other kids would ask that might make the adult look stupid because they didn’t know the answer to it.

There are some days and moments where I really appreciate my intelligence and it’s great but there are also times when I’m sick of it. I would say I’m very similar to Jordan Peterson in some ways, I get smarter under pressure but it’s also annoying and exhausting to deal with, and I’m a little bit manic in my thought process sometimes due to dealing with an overwhelming amount of thoughts.

I don’t like that how I feel is often portrayed in my voice and I don’t like that I feel irritation or anxiousness or little bits of sadness over nothing or over a thought not agreeing with my general vibes and feelings. I guess I’m afraid to be wrong and be the odd one out but at the same time I feel like the only way to make an impact and people’s worlds is if you’re that person that chooses to go against the grain.

PS: I learned a little bit of hypnosis recently through watching the world’s best hypnotists and my friends let me experiment on them with guided meditations to relax it was really cool. I’m a huge Naruto fan and my favorite most recent anime were Ancient Magus Bride and Frieren: beyond journeys end.

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Emotional abuse can be worse than physical abuse and will leave emotional scars. Gaslighting is one of the worst ones, which tears your personality apart and makes you something you are not. Emotional abuse can cause you to have complex PTSD, which can cause emotional irregulation and can mimic things like bipolar, autism and other personality disorders and such.

I was born with an IQ of 156, but the doctor inflicted damage to my skull causing me to have a traumatic brain injury and my stepparents were horribly abusive, so I have had to fight with trauma, TBI and all this my whole life. Some thought I had ADHD, bipolar and autism, but I have none of those and just struggle with the afore mentioned things. I made it my job to inform others of their potential for CPTSD when so many misdiagnose it as bipolar, borderline personality disorder, autism, etc.

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Hello @Pika_pika

What you’re going you’re not alone in and its okay to feel this way at times…

We all been through a emotional issues like sad feelings and the bad attachment to the experiences and memories that are were not easy. Understand that life is hard and something we can’t change at time. But you’re not alone in what you’re experiencing adulthood isn’t easy and I’m glad that you found something like hyponsis and anime helps get you through the difficult times. Also it great that you didn’t need adults at times which and stuff that honestly great. There going to be stuff we are tired of as well in life and there are going be more to walk through in life we just have to find that path with the light to guide our way through moments of triumph and over what we go through. But you’re never alone and hope you find that way

Take Care & Hold Fast

@KyleGouldOfficial

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My friend,

I wanted to thank you for sharing your story.

I immediately wanted to let you know that this post helped me. I also have an IQ of 140…and have expereinced everything that you wrote about…

…you writing about this opened something up in me. I’m 32 now and only within the last few years have been able to embrace this but I used to, until today, hide the fact that I have an IQ like this.

Why did I hide it?

It equated to pain for me.

I’ve had to go through most of my adulthood with a mask on to hide from people because the moments I let it shine, people had this expectation that I was somehow perfect and that I could perform highly in everything. This is so far from the truth.

While I have acheived a high degree in success, I’ve also struggled painfully with SO many things.

However, it’s been because of these struggles that I’m able to live the life that I do now. The sword of high intellegence has two blade…and it swings both ways.

I’ve now learned to swing it carefully.

All the pain and trauma that I experienced when I was younger, just like you, forced me into a weird spot thinkning that I was always a failure, always a mess up, that I couldn’t do anything. It was so confusing because I would write papers, say things, etc. that would eventually be published as genuine science in peer reviewed articvles. Yet, I thought I was an idiot. I could barely get out of bed sometimes and made simple mistakes that “normal” people could clearly do with little effort.

All those things layered up until I broke and hit my own rock bottom. But it was the rock bottom that forced all those layers of thinking off of me and I have since “Reclaimed” who I am and embrace it fully.

Part of this embracing myself includes being comfortable with the anxious and irritable moments. A friend of mine shared a story with me of Winsten Churchill. He has an example where we all go through highs and lows though life. He equated the lows to “black dots.” The black dot only gorws the more you try and resist it. Instead, I’ve began to sit with my anxiousness. I’ve let myself know that it’s okay to feel this way and that sitting with it reveals the root of the anxious feeling. Finding the root has allowed me to understand why I’m feeling that way in that moment and to give myself the love needed to actually make that black dot shrink… shortening the time I have to deal with it and allowing me to thrive in the good times unabashedly.

I have so many other things that I could share with you, but I will leave it at this for now.

PS: I’m with the HeartSupport replier team, Beacon. We’d love for you to join and join the ranks of the bright lights that we shine for those in the dark.

Also, feel free to add me on instagram. Would love to connect: i_am_reclaimer

Burn bright my friend.

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@Pika_pika

Thank you for sharing.

There isnt anytbing worng with yiu hun, you are smart and many peiple get intimidated by people who are smart. Be who you are and ask question there isnt no wrong answer. Is ok if an adult cant answer what they dont know and that is ok.

Im happy you like Naruto it is acool anime. Im glad you are finding ways to cope with past trauma.

Keep up with the good work.

Meditation is a great thing. And keeping yourself active and enjoy the nature, the outdoors, going out with friends some support group that may be similar situation as you.

God bless

Keep up the good work.
B3 you​:pray::purple_heart: