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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Left Behind by Slipknot
2:27 I am going through that rn, even though she died 4 years ago and it was overdose and not suicide
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Losing someone you love and care about to an overdose must have been such a brutal heartbreak for you. It’s understandable that what is shared at this part of the video resonates with you personally. You have lost someone who was important to you to reasons that were profoundly unfair. I imagine that you have seen them maybe declining somehow or getting into a darker headspace with unhealthy ways to cope. And once death hits your life like this it forces you to think back about what happened, it makes you actively look after the possible moments when a change could have been made, or when a word could have been said. You wonder if you could have made a difference in their own trajectory by being present in a different way, by listening differently, or even by stepping in before losing them. It is so hard to feel this guilt weighing on your shoulders, to somehow feel like opportunities were missed out and that there is no turning back. But at the same time, there’s also this feeling of being abandoned by someone who was holding an important part in your life. You feel like what happened to them should have never happened, and it feels like they didn’t hold on enough to the love that were present in their life. I’ve myself seen people I love suffering from addictions and in a general manner from demons that were constantly present in their life. And it’s freaking heartbreaking to feel like you witness it all without having a say on it, without the possibility to have a real impact and avoid them from being hurt, or destroying themselves. You love them so much and care for them but you are also pushed into a position of witness as these are battles they would be leading within themselves. It’s such a rough place to be in. I’m sorry you have experienced this, friend, and I’m so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.